Toby, Dear Toby

3 months old and here's what we know:

• he doesn't like to sleep during the day, in fact, we have to carry him for a lot of naps
• when he's awake and fed he's sooo smiley and cute
• he loves looking at himself and mommy in the mirror
• his prime time is 8-10 pm when he loves to talk and coo and imitate our voices
• he is not quite ready for the jolly jumper but he's got some pretty strong kicks, he'll be ready in no time!
• he can grab things that are dangling in front of him!
• he has blue eyes and more fair skin than Silas but otherwise is a spitting image!
• he is cuuuuuute and has chubby rolls already
• he has two dimples- one on his chin and one on his left cheek when he smiles
• he has very expressive eyebrows which he raises at new sounds
• he is feisty and happy, a good eater and a good night-time sleeper
• he doesn't really like his carseat when he's awake, unless it's bright or a light is on
• he's not a big fan of the stroller

 mr smiles!

expressive eyebrows [shock!]

kissy face!

 

trying to take a picture of us proved more difficult than I thought

The Toddler Rollercoaster.

How can one little child, 25 years my junior, throw me into so much confusion?   He wants something, he doesn't want it.  Happy and content then crying and frustrated.  Screaming in my face then gently hugging me and giving me kisses.  This bundle of TWO, namely Silas, is a walking contradiction.  He needs me, he doesn't, he wants me to do it, he wants to do it himself.  He seems to bounce off the walls and need to get out of the house but if we do too much in a day he's overstimulated, wailing, flailing and 2 feet of reckless emotions careening out of control.  I am not so sure I'm enjoying this stage, or that Silas is.  I try to focus on him, try to play with him, try to be consistent but this little man of mine is running up to the edge of boundaries we've set and keeps testing and testing. I am so exhausted at the end of the day and mainly it's because all I do is discipline, cajole, encourage, and manipulate [errr motivate] Silas to do all the same things we do. Every. Day.  Oh man.  I try to be creative and patient and to praise and love on him.  But is he getting it?  Does he get that I love him or does he think it rides on his performance?  Does he get that if he does a. then he gets discipline b?  Are we inconsistent?  Are we terrible parents?  Is he going to be wrecked for life by our terrible parenting?

before you start to think he's the only problem here, confession: I'm not perfect.  A better question than the above: How can such a small child reveal so much sin in my own life?  Impatience, anger, rage, conditional love.  Who knew I was such a menace?  I feel like some days I throw just as many tantrums as Silas does...

This stage has me concerned, frustrated, confused and well, not sure about this season.   Toddler-hood is a rollercoaster of thrilling highs and frustrating, harrowing lows.  Silas can be a chatty bundle of energy who bounces all over the house bringing life, curiosity, interest and excitement to all the dull corners. But, then the toddler ride takes us fast and furiously towards misunderstandings, tantrums and fits at breakneck speeds.  How do I transition from being terrified of this rollercoaster ride to actually enjoying the thrill of it all?

Silas hasn't even been two for 2 weeks, how will we make it the next 50?
Tips? Suggestions?

[Lord, help me not to screw him up too bad, or at least only in the fixable ways].

Complaining

Okay.  So I complain.  A lot.  This is on my new years resolution in 2012 list:  I want to learn how to be more content, more joyful, more thankful. To STOP being a negative jerk and start praising God for the abundance in my life. I learned a secret about this yesterday: what if I search for the hidden praise item in the complaint I am forming.  [What?!]  I'll give you an example:


Complaint: "I hate waking up in the morning.  Silas has too much energy, I have to hit the floor running.  Ugggggh I need coffee"  
Hidden praise item: "If I am 'waking up,' that means I slept.  Praise God.  If Silas has energy- that means he is healthy, and full of life- not sick, weak, or unable to move.  Praise God.  If I have feet to hit the floor with, that means I can walk and move and I have breath.  Praise God." 


Complaint:  "I cannot believe I have to take Toby the doctor for his shots today- 45 minutes away.  A long drive, a crying baby in a carseat.  It's going to be soooooooo awful."
Hidden praise item:  "I have a car to get around in. Praise God.  I have a doctor to go to when I need one. Praise God.  I have the option of getting vaccinations for my son so that he doesn't suffer or die from a horrible childhood disease.  Praise God.  He cries?  That means he has life in him, breath and a voice. Praise God."


Complaint: "My days are so monotonous at home with little ones."
Hidden praise item:  "That means it is not a struggle to survive.  If it's monotonous that means there isn't war breaking over my head, a question of if I will have enough food or water to survive or to give my children to survive.  That means I have enough.  PRAISE GOD."


Whiners are lame company.  I don't want to be one anymore.  So, I'm working on it. 

Silas Turns 2

Okay.  I was going for 'less over-kill' of a party than what I had glimpsed on Pinterest.  Themes?  Goody-bags? Treats?  Good heavens, who are these parents that spoil their children?
Oops.  I guess I might fall into that category.  It's just so fun planning a party for your child.  We had some close friends and family join us at a great new play place.  And by great, I mean A-MAZING.  They had fridges for food, it was new (like 5 days new) so everything was clean and awesome, they provided a room and balloons and helped clean up. They even had ball pits to play in [pre-vomit/pee-infested]. The play area was HUGE and it didn't have holes all over where little tots could fall out-forcing adults to climb up in with their kids.  Silas could go through it all on his own.  Hardly anyone was there either [except our party] since the weather was insane and it was so new nobody had heard of it.  


I made rainbow fruit and veggie trays, ordered some pizza, and Jason helped me make a really fun train cake in the shape of a 2. Silas was enthralled with the play place and loved having all his buddies around him.  If only it wasn't so hectic with me prepping, and taking care of Toby- I would have loved to have spent a whole day there [this is in my future].  


Highlights:
2 kids having accidents and mommies coming to each others' rescue with extra pants and such
Toby being carted around naked (save the diaper) for the above issue as well
Silas' face while cramming it full of cake
Watching Silas attempt the big slide on his own

'I'm two!'

the '2' shaped train cake

yay for playnation! [it's actually much bigger than this picture shows and has an awesome toddler area, except, Silas went straight to this big play structure and skipped the toddler area]

we had an upstairs room: 

 mmmm pizza.

rainbow fruit and veggie platters:

good friends Nathan and Aiden: 

more cake: 

It was all so overwhelming for him he didn't hardly get to his presents.  We still have a bike to give him [not that he can ride it anywhere at this time of the year, stupid winter birthdays!]  


I totally didn't have the time to take pictures of the whole thing and am kicking myself.  I had this big plan to take pictures of Silas individually with all his friends or as a group of kids to have as a momento.  Totally. Forgot.  [Arg]


We're so thankful to have this little bundle of boy with us.  How lucky are we?  So glad to have shared this day with people we love and who love Silas.


Oh, and because I always gave my parents a hard time for neglecting to take photos of me, the 2nd child, here's one of Toby:

Thankfully he slept for some of the time and was held the rest of the time [hardly cried at all!]

Jason.  Playing with Silas' new train tracks after he went to bed.  [What is with boys/men and trains?] 

All about Two

Two boys  =

a 2 month old (today) and a 2 year old (tomorrow)

It's becoming a comfortable chaos around here in the world of twos.

Two little boy sets of laundry to do.

Two bums to change.

Two heads to kiss.

Two minutes to myself a day.

Two favourite songs to sing, over and over to Silas [Only a boy named David and the 'pokey-pokey']

Two more batteries to replace.

Too many crumbs to sweep up.

Too much to ever get done.

Two sore shoulders from carrying, rocking, holding, nursing.

Too much energy, too early in the morning.

Two alert and engaging personalities.

Two baby blue eyes full of curiosity and familiarity [Toby]. 

Two brown eyes staring up at me with humor, affection, and defiance [Silas].

Two baby dimples: on the cheek and chin.

Two parents to tag team, to work together [Praise the Lord]

Two bodies to snuggle with.

Two cups of coffee in the morning.

Two minutes in time out. Again and again.

Two hours between feeds, sometimes 3 or 4.

Two loud cries, often simultaneously.

Two sticky peanut butter hands on walls, on chairs, on floors, on doors.

Too blessed.

Too overwhelmed.

Two minutes until Daddy gets home.

Two days until the weekend.

Two hour toddler nap, if I'm lucky.

Two treasured gifts from God to raise, to love, to learn patience with and grace for.

Too much of me, more of Him.

Two. 

Boys.

Cannot believe Silas turns 2 tomorrow and Toby is already 2 months.  Time flies when the days are full! {Pictures of Toby and Silas' birthday party up soon}

Bum Wars

Weird title, weird topic.  Yes, I am a 2nd time Mom, is it that obvious? Besides the obvious things I am filling my time with: namely feeding and rocking a newborn and running around the house making a mess with a toddler, I spend much of my day [very glamorous] staring at bums. 


Current bum wars:
1. Potty training Silas
I have to say that "when they're ready, they're ready."  We had no intention of training Silas with the potty yet because of new baby Toby and a pending trip to Ontario which we are certain will bring set backs.  However, Silas speaks in full sentences, notices when he needs to go #2 and since we bought a little potty a few months back, has taken a huge interest in it.  So, with the advent of terrible manipulation {chocolate} and a few hints here and there {"your cousins go on the potty...."} Silas has now gone 5 days without me having to change a poopy diaper.  This is a HUGE cause for celebration in my books because despite that I am a nurse and have seen my share of poop, this kids poop tops the charts in d-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g.  This new trend is also exciting because he goes like 2-3 times a day {grrr} and has so far informed us when he needs to go each time {hurray!}.  Potty time is also exciting because it allows me a few moments to myself or to rock or nurse Toby.  Silas is all too content just sitting his little self there, reading books, and then jumps up and lets me know when he's done his business with shouts of "POOP ON POTTY, CHOCOLATE NOW!"  Save a few incidents where the poop was certainly on instead of in the potty, he has done pretty well and even occasionally goes on the "mommy, daddy potty." He has even started negotiating saying "four chocolates?"  ummmm, I have to remind him that one is plenty.  We'll see if this trend continues.  There are a few times he's even peed on the potty, just peed and jumped up still exclaiming his success in "poop on potty, chocolate!"  We have some explaining to do...  I am impressed though that this kid might be #2 trained before his 2nd birthday next week!


2. Child number 2.  Toby has had this terrible bum rash for a few weeks now and I'm at a loss what to do about it.  We use cloth diapers and wipes but over Christmas used cloth diapers and disposable wipes.  Soon after he broke out in this terrible red, raised rash- especially on his thighs.  So, we switched to all disposable and I took him to the dr.  She tested for yeast but it was negative. Meanwhile, I washed ALL of the diapers in a few hot washes with vinegar etc to try and clean them thoroughly in case it was yeast.  Well, the rash wasn't getting better.  I started using cloth wipes but kept the disposables and it started to clear up so I thought "hey, cloth must be okay!"  Then, we re-started the cloth again and it's back and even worse.  Any thoughts out there?  He was in cloth after the first 2 weeks for about a month, exclusively, without any problems. It's been the same detergent the whole time....  Not sure that my diet has changed all that much but at some points it's seemed almost eczema like?  


Any tips on bum rashes?  Any tips on how to maintain a toddler's potty-savvy-ness while out and about?  {Any moms out there take their potties along in their purses?}

Why New Years Resolution #7 Sucks

Okay.  So I want to learn about fashion and how to dress better for my body shape.  Sounds achievable right?  Yeah, it did to me too.  That's why it became New Years Resolution #7. 

Problem 1: Do I buy stuff for how flabby I am now or be hopeful about how 'fit' I will be in the months to come? I only have maternity clothes that are too baggy and pre-maternity clothes that are too tight so I need clothes now but...

Problem 2: I have two small children.  Shopping is a no-go.  Here's why:

Best case scenario: I am alone and shopping.
Sounds great right?  Excellent actually.  Except, that means that some unfortunate person [probably Jason] has both kids and meanwhile....I am rushing, running, speeding to try and shop shop shop to find what I want and end up buying things that I have not tried on or haven't had the chance to think about.  Therefore I end up with stupid clothes purchases.  The whole time I'm shopping, rather than figuring out how to pick good quality fashion choices, I am worrying about child #2 who needs to breastfeed 'anytime now' and as soon as I think about it, I start lactating.  This makes trying clothes on even less plausible. So then I have to go out again to return those said items which I could not try on and look hideous in the light of my bedroom.  Then I go to return them and I can't find the receipt [as it's been deemed garbage by my toddler] or [just in my absent-minded-new-mommy-ness I have chucked it away somewhere].  Excellent.  Extra clothes that don't fit.  Perfect.  Just what I don't need  in my closet.

Worser {is that a word?} case scenario: I am shopping with one.
Sounds also plausible right?  Shopping with a baby, coffee in hand, strolling along at the mall- this is the middle class suburban dream right?  Well, it's not reality.  Baby Toby hates the stroller, doesn't take a soother, ends up crying unless I keep a constant pace of 15 km/hour or more.  This makes it impossible to try things on without also simultaneously bashing the buggy against the fitting room door by accident.  OR if I put him in my new and wonderful carrier, this also makes it slightly impossible to try clothes on.

Worst case scenario: Shopping for clothes with two.
I don't.  It would be dumb.
[Toddler Silas would be running in the opposite direction of me, playing 'peek-boo' in the clothes, while I would be hidden away breastfeeding Toby in the change room].

SO.  Where was I?  oh yes.  This is why my new years resolution sucks.

How do you mommys out there do it?  You know who you are.  You moms who are super stylish and look great AND have children that are fully clothed, with clean diapers, and fed?  Let me know your tricks.  

My First Button Letter

I've been wanting to be more creative lately to rejuvenate my spirit and help me through this rough newborn/new-to-having 2 kids season...and so I did a mini pinterest project last night:


Button letters for the boys' room!  I did it a bit differently than I saw on Pinterest and hot-glue-gunned buttons to the outer glass on a frame so that I can change the background as often as I want to (it's scrapbook paper as a background).  It turned out super well and was super cheap!  


$2.50 for a whole big bag of green buttons at the dollar store (amazing deal)
$15 for frame at home sense
I already had the scrapbook paper and the hot glue and voila.  
I printed a large size of the letter 's' off the computer to use as a guide

Me working on the glass with a computer printed letter as my guide underneath:

Fini:

Thankfully, Jason was holding Toby while he pretty much cried the whole time I did this project.  Only took an hour or so!  Sigh.  Toby is just not a good sleeper during the daytime- only wants to be held.


I'm gonna try and do a blue letter for Toby's 'T' next!

Pinterest and I

Since discovering pinterest I've been experimenting with different activities with Silas.  Most have been a bust, I'm not gonna lie.  But even though some things only capture his interest for 5 minutes, and often require more work and clean up, I am still inspired.  I've started to think more creatively about how to 'entertain' (and teach) my son.  I've also started to see things differently that I might otherwise throw out.  For example: cardboard, empty chocolates boxes, bubble paper, straws...I'm stockpiling these things so that I can create things like this:

[sensory 'table' from an old chocolates box, coloured rice, beads, and mixed beans from the bulk section]

[what it looked like after he was playing for awhile]

or this:

[puff ball monkey hockey....something so simple, yet he LOVES playing with this]

Now I find myself scouring the internet searching for different ways to interact with and engage toddlers.  We've tried painting, homemade play dough, paint in the tub, cheerio stacking, etc etc.  Silas' favourite so far seems to be what we gave him for Christmas.  Drum roll...  Coloured popsicle sticks + parmesan cheese container.  [So cheap, I know]  Yet Hours. Of. Fun.  Dumping, re-inserting, shaking, dumping {repeat}.  

I think the main reason this has been so thrilling for me is not that I'm now getting 'so much done' with an occupied toddler, but I feel more engaged.  I think I was getting bored with the same 'ol ways to play with him.  SO if you have any toddler activities- send them my way!!!

Just for kicks, here's cute little Toby, growing like a weed.  6 weeks old, 9 lbs and 15 oz of my cute blue-eyed baby-boy:

one more photo entitled: "he can't make that big of a mess in 30 seconds alone can he?"