Is it too late?  Can I squeak 'em in?

It's mid-February and I'm only now getting my act together to write some New Years' Resolutions.  

Well, it's not a crime right? Here goes:

1. Open wide my eyes.  
"There's too many problems," "nothing I could do would make a difference anyways," "where do you even begin?" My internal rant of excuses for not opening my eyes to the plight of widows and orphans has been rambling on for long enough.  Oh, 'helping widows and orphans' might sound lofty, and it is, but I've been moved, affected, and shaken up by some things I'm learning around human trafficking, the plight of orphans, abortion, and the cause of impoverished women around the world.  

So what is one to do to become more aware?  What does one do to make a difference?  Well, for me, it's going to start with being intentional.  Once a week, getting informed.  Once a week, making one choice differently, in what I buy, read, or do.  In the novels I choose, in the documentaries I watch, in the birthday presents I buy, in the blog posts I write, in the sermons I listen to, in the passages of the Bible I study, in the conversations I lead, and in the prayers I pray, I want to do one thing, each week, that might help the poorest and most marginalized in the world today.  

Vague?  A little.  Possible?  I think so.  Or at least, this is where I'll start. One thing too is that we're starting to explore adoption and how we can support those adopting or seriously ask if this is in God's future for us.  This is what I was reading about this morning "how can you help."  Excellent read. 

This verse is the verse I really believe God is laying on my heart for this year: 

James 1:19-27 "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."

2. Less technology. 
I took a step back last year and spent less time watching shows online and less time watching movies.  Well, I want to continue in that direction.  Less time on my phone while the kids are awake (not so hard when your phone is currently sitting in a bag of rice on the fridge), less time on facebook, more time in face-to-face relationship building.  

I think, for now, this means only checking e-mail or facebook once a day and unplugging from everything earlier in the evening.  And, of course, texting in the free still moments I have when kids' eyes and hearts are not wide open, waiting for me to listen, focus, and pay attention (aka, they are napping).

The distractions are abundant but I want to teach my kids it's okay to have silence, to just be present with each other, and that they are more important than phone calls and texts.

I was definitely inspired by this sermon about spiritual formation in a digital age (thanks Justine). A few blogs like this and this book: Love Does by Bob Goff (thanks Janet).

Gonna unplug a bit more and be here, now, present in this moment.  Thinkin' about making this a weekly thing like 'tech-free tuesday' and especially continuing to incorporate no tech on sabbath.  Excited to see what this creates room for in my life and soul.

3.Vegan?  
Still exploring, learning, researching about health and nutrition for our family.  Can we afford to go vegan?  Can we afford not to?  Lots to learn but I want to have a better idea of why we choose to eat what we eat by the end of the year.  To have reasons, and be intentional about what we are doing.  Nothing like having bad health by accident.  Part of this is that I want to get better value for my money.  I hate this kind of research but it's more than overdue.  Where should I shop?  For what?  How do I maintain a low budget and yet have healthier choices?  

To make this goal more 'measurable' we've decided to focus some energy and time this month on making 3 small informed changes in reducing our sugar intake, and 3 small changes we could make to cut costs and make more food at home.  Some ideas we were thinking?

No more juice.
Making granola bars at home with natural sweeteners.
Cutting out store bought cereals and finding alternative snacking/breakfast foods.

We're looking for the biggest difference in our health with the smallest changes.  That's why we thought cereal and granola bars might be some 'big bang for buck' options.

4. Write more.  
Wasn't this on my list last year?  Wasn't this just as vague of a goal last year?  Okay, S-M-A-R-T goals, here I come.  I want to write on my blog (gulp) at least two times a week.  I want to write during my quiet times while the kids are asleep.  I want to practice writing poetry again, writing songs, and maybe take another shot at writing more devotional-style writings, kids' books, or something.  Oh, and I want to (yuck) learn better grammar.  Maybe take a writing class?  Attend a writer's conference?  

One thing is for sure: I want to write more often, I want to write better, and I want to take more steps of faith with my writing.  I hope this also means that I will write more thoughtful, authentic blog posts.  I don't want to be a fru-fru writer.  I want to write about the meat (in light of number 3, maybe 'beans?') of life more than the stuff that really doesn't matter.  

The list will go on... but this is enough to think about for now!

Discovery

There's nothing quite as delightful as discovering new things or watching your kids discover them:

A favourite trail in the morning light and fog

watching Silas get excited about hiking in the forest

watching Toby explore a sensory box for the first time [for over an hour!]

pillow pile gymnastics

baking soda + coloured vinegar and flour "just to see what happens"

a new recipe that everyone liked [3 bean meatless meatloaf]

and painting in the tub 

How a busy, working mom finds delight in the everyday.  Change.  Exploration. Discovery.  Joy. It's the small things that keep me sane.

 

  

 

[Oops, this discovery was not appreciated.  Doesn't like paint on his legs apparently]

Why I Hate Cell Phones

I have a love/hate relationship with my cellphone.

Anyone else feel the tension?  Some days I'm not sure the 'conveniences' outweigh the frustrations.  Part of me is a little surprised at my torn affections because shouldn't I be on board with technological advances?  And shouldn't I, well, be used to it by now?

Here's my frustration:

I hate them because...

1. I am endlessly looking for my cell phone.  
It goes from pocket, to purse, to diaper bag, to counter, to car, and I can never ever keep track of it.  Some people just say "put it in your pocket' but us women don't have that luxury.  My pockets aren't big enough to carry such large contraptions.  Poor Jason is always asked to call it so I can find it.  Arg!

2. They are always somewhere else when they are ringing. 
 I am forever sprinting to the far corners of my home to get to the phone in time.  I miss home phones that were in every room.

3. They are always on the 'ring' function when you should have put them to vibrate, and they are always on vibrate function when you wish they had their ringer on.  
[Case in point, when point 1 is involved: you can't find the phone because the ringer's off]

4. They are the cause of many mini-heart-attacks.  
Because they're so expensive, and so darn small I always end up losing it, sitting on it, dropping it, etc. "Where's my phone?! I think I left it somewhere!"  or  Smash! "I dropped it!"  "I spilled something on it!"  [heart palpitation]

5.  I don't memorize information, I store it. 
If the phone gets lost- I'm hooped!  My calendar, my contacts, phone numbers, everything is in there.  I don't even have phone numbers memorized cause most of the time I don't need them.  I had a patient awhile back who was in hospital and his cell phone battery was dead but his charger was at home and he was freaking out.  Why?  Cause he couldn't even call anyone to ask them to bring the charger in because he didn't know anyone's number! Scary.

6. How do you teach a kid to dial 9-11?
It's not as simple anymore.  Now-a-days your kid has to be able to find the phone, turn it on, 'swipe' across or enter a pin, find the 'call' function, and then dial 9-11 and then 'send' before emergency help is on the wall.  No more picking up the phone and dialing.  [This concerns me at night when I'm trying to sleep].  On this topic, in general my greatest fear is being somewhere and needing my phone but not being able to find it or its battery being dead.  [Shudder].

7. Everyone's always on them or distracted by them.
I feel like the temptation to always be plugged in keeps me from the here and now and the person right in front of me.

8. They are a magnet for small, dirty fingers.

9. People are always texting while I'm driving and the temptation to look and answer is always a challenge.  (Maybe I should just turn the phone off while driving?!)

10.  Maps and GPS on a phone is just not as convenient as the paper kind if you ask me.  
Zooming in and out on a 4" screen?  Annoying. Sometimes you just need a map in big form.

But, you know, they are kinda fun....and I love them because...

1. Need to kill time?  
Waiting at a dr's office?  Great!  Get caught up on e-mail! Love that you can check your e-mail anywhere.  No more writing out addresses on sticky notes, just look up the e-mail.  

2. Texting. 
I looooooove this form of communication.  Forget awkward phone calls about menial things.  Thinking of someone?  Want to just say hi?  Want to send a useless but hilarious emoticon?  Done.

3. Taking pictures.  
I love that I can take pictures or videos of the kids everywhere without carting around the Nikon.  So convenient and unintrusive.

4. Which brings me to....instagram.
Love, love, love.

5. It makes me feel safer.  
Somehow I feel like when I have the phone while driving or with the kids, just knowing that I can call someone at any point makes me feel a bit more secure.

6. Last ditch effort to entertain.
When I'm in a crunch and I have nothing at my fingertips to entertain my little men, my phone comes to the rescue.  Games? Flashcards? Photos? Videos? Click!

7. Mini flashlight.
Love!  

8. Calendar function.  Drool.
I used to be a hard core paper planner junkie.  Jason had to pry my calendar out of my tight fist and I was very slow in converting.  But now?  I love that I can see my schedule on my phone and update it on the fly.

9. Google!
Want to know how far Timbuktu is from Montreal?  Why the sky is blue?  Why you can't find your phone?  Google it!  Anytime, anywhere.

Hmmm.  Guess the verdict is in!  I hate them more than I love them.  Maybe it's time to think about some changes to my lifestyle, habits, or technological gadgets.

What about you?  Love or hate cell phones?

Patience on a Monday Morning

Monday morning slapped me upside the head today.  My bitter enemies were waiting at my door [fatigue, grogginess and a lack of planning].  It's rainy and dreary outside.  The chore list is long, Silas is grumpy and all I want to do is curl up in a blanket and eat chocolate and drink wine.  

But I can't.  Because it's Monday and Monday means that Jason is back to work and I'm stuck with no plans but to survive the indoors with foul smelling laundry, sick kids, and a pile of dishes.

It becomes quickly apparent that I woke up without any patience.  Does this ever happen to you?  I want to know who is barging into my emotional tank and emptying it of patience before I even wake up?  That's just downright unfair.

Repetitive toddler questions rip at at my stretched thin limits and the slightest whine feels like an ice ax against my brittle endurance.  I feel like I'm staring at the Mount Everest of motherhood and expected to conquer all the elements on my ascent.  Patience is the prize at the top and I'm hardly two feet up and already deprived of oxygen.

I can't seem to maintain any semblance of self control as an emotional eruption starts working its way from my heart to my face and then to my voice...

Pause.

Stop self, just stop.  I'm worse than my 3 year old.  I'm obviously not coping today and I need help.

So I'm making a list.  I need a 'go to list' of things to do to get me out of my emotional toddlerhood and rise above Monday circumstances.  So help me God I'm gonna get me some patience.

My patience resurrection list:

1. Get outside
Fresh air cures most things for me. Unfortunately it also means that we have to do the 'getting' part of going outside which is usually a very big hurdle of frustration before we get to the joy of being outdoors.

2. Put on some praise music and thank God.
I find it awfully hard to sing praises and be impatient and frustrated at the same time.

3. Sit down for a moment, eat something, go pee, or drink some water. 
It's amazing to me how so many of these little forms of self care get neglected and feed my lack of emotional energy.

4. Enjoy small things.
Stop and look at things like Toby's sweet cheeks, the way a rain drop slides down the window, the way the wind moves the trees, the silence of no kitchen renovations...and marvel a little bit.  Appreciate, and therefore be inspired.  Or even, God forbid, let Silas walk slowly and try to enjoy dawdling. {Not sure if this is physically possible for me}

5. Call someone.
Moms- we gotta stick together.  Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, my social need dictates my emotional capacity.  When I have friends or family around I am restored, revived, and energized in more than ways than I can count.  10 minutes of adult time will take me many more miles on my own.

6. Write.
An outlet, a way for me to reflect on myself, a way to cope.

7. Dora the Explorer.
Bless her heart, I'd adopt her if I could.  She wins Silas' attention and wins me some precious moments to sit and get my head on straight.

8. Pray. Read the Bible.
I find this hard because unless the kids are asleep or in quiet time, I don't have the focus I would like to have in reading or praying.  However, when they go to bed, this should be my first go to for strength and energy.

9. Go somewhere, ANYWHERE.
I just need to get out.  Every day.  Sometimes the walls of my home trap me and if I just get out I feel a lot more sane.

10. Go to bed.
Everyone.  When all else fails, all persons in my home just need to go to their beds and we all just need to press the restart button.

And if nothing works, hold on tight and wait until tomorrow.  Praise God for the mercies awaiting me on Tuesday.

What are your go-to's for restoring lost patience on a Monday morning?

Legoooooooooo Party

Before you think it, I know: this party was a bit over the top.  I've become that Mom who goes nuts for her kids' birthday.  Hmmm.  What my wise friend Michelle told me, "once you have a theme for your party, it's downhill from there." It's totally true. I've been dreaming, and thinking, pinning and planning in lego colours for weeks now.

I didn't want to go over the top, but I also have never been a half-way kind of person.  It was just too much fun making all kinds of fun details for the party.  I especially loved involving Silas in every part of the prep.  He loves baking and crafting and all of the prep made his anticipation grow and grow.  It's been a fun couple of weeks.

Why Lego?  Silas LOVES Lego.  He has quite the imagination and since it's his mainstay quiet-time toy it seemed obvious to make his 3rd birthday a Lego-theme.  Every day he makes zoos and bridges and all kinds of interesting creations.  I love this stuff!

First and foremost, before I share the details of his third birthday: a big shout out to all of our great family and friends.  We are richly blessed.  I know that Silas felt special and loved because of your presence there at his birthday and in his life.

Details, details

Goody bags:

• hand-me-down squishy legos with each kids' name written on them
• lego candy (a must have)
• lego erasers
• chocolate legos!  Silas and I molded these the other day and we had quite the fun time running back and forth between the stove and freezer.

Decorations:
I had a bit too much fun with the decor.  I borrowed some friends' extra duplo and cut, pasted, taped, and tucked.

• Silas helped me paint signs for the front of our community room which we rented (in our townhouse complex)

Table centerpieces

 

Silas helped me make his Lego name.  He insisted on having 'eyes' in his 'I'

Streamer wall in the background =)

Table decor!  Vase + lego.  

I also made confetti with cardstock paper and a hole punch.

Kleenex boxes + baby food jar lids + wrapping paper

Cutlery holder?  Silas made this for me

For our game we needed lego cars so they were on the mantle until we used them.

Silas called our present his 'cake present'

 Activities:

Free play!  I cleaned up our summertime sand/water table and hauled our kid-friendly tables from home and had a homemade playdoh station (with legos to play with it of course), a lego station, and our tent filled with balls and balloons.  The kids loved it all!  It was fun making lego shapes with play-doh and building towers.

Silas loved helping me make the play-doh

We also did some games:

Pin the 'dot' on the lego: [each child had their name on a matching lego dot, they were blindfolded and spun and then had to put the dot on the lego piece]

Lego car-race:
Each child had a lego car and were told to build it, and then we sent them down the ramp to see who could make it the furthest.  Even the adults wanted a round at it:

Lego Colouring:
I made some 'lego pieces' on the computer for every child to colour.  Then we stuck them on the wall to collaboratively build.  It ended up being a tower.  [Shocked?]

Story-time!
I got some lego story-books from the library and got Silas' favourite book out: The Pout Pout Fish.
I also had some 'adult' coffee table lego books from the library.  They were fun to look at:

Food:
Tried to keep it cheap and simple.  Chips and Salsa, pizza, fruits, veggies, etc.
My favourite though?  The lego chocolates and lego juice boxes.  Too fun.

And the cake.  Not professional looking, but it looked like Lego!  I used 1/2 marshmallows which I froze to help me decorate them.  [They were a pain]  And of course, we forgot to take a  close up picture of it.  Oh well. 

And some pictures of the action.  More than 30 people including 15 kids and a ton of fun.  I especially loved how they really got into the car making and the present opening cluster of kids.  Hilarious.  

Keeping it cheap?

Had the party in our community room in our townhouse complex

Made a lot of the decor

Borrowed a lot of things

Used what we had!  [Balloons, balls, tent, air mattress, lego, vases, paper, hole punch, etc]

Made the food

One of Silas' christmas presents became his birthday present, we bought him something from craigslist for 7 bucks and only bought him one new toy which was 15 bucks =)

Only expensive party was the goody bags but who doesn't love goody bags?!

Now Silas and daddy are figuring out his new remote-controlled car.  Love.

Until next time... [phew, off the hook for birthday planning until next November!]

Boy oh Boys

A usual day in the Brink home:

I know nothing about raising girls, as is obvious, but 12 things I've learned recently about raising brothers:

1. Always, always take them outside at least once a day.  Always.
2. Bleeding lips are common.
3. They will knock each other over, a lot.  If you gasp, or reach out, or cry out, they will cry too.  But if you just sit back and watch, they will get up, shake it off, giggle, and ram at each other again.
4. If they can hold it, they can throw it!
4. b.  They can always throw harder than you think.
5.They will get mad at each other, take toys from each other, push each other over, but they still always want to be where the other one is.
6. When all else fails, use the furniture as a playground.  (I know, it sets a bad precedent but when it's the furniture or your sanity, the choice is obvious).
7. When one is loud the other will be loud-er.
8. There is never only one running.
9. Sugar is your enemy.
10. The youngest always thinks he can do what the oldest can do.  
11. It may seem nice at the time to have them nap or watch a show but you will always pay for it later with energy left un-spent and they will be bouncing off the walls (literally).
12. Mess.  What one cleans up the other undoes.  Is there any point in cleaning midday at all?

Tips to raising a brood of boys?
p.s I don't know what scares me more- the thought of having another boy or having a girl. 3 boys sounds chaotic but then having a girl is foreign territory.

Developing a Food Ideology

Dairy-free.  Low sugar.  Vegetarian.  Affordable.  Ethical.  Local.  Family-friendly.

What is a mom to feed her family these days?  

Rewind a year ago, and I don't think I could have imagined thinking too hard or long on any of the above topics surrounding food.  Sure, we ate what I would have considered healthy, but I had no reason to change any food habits we had.

Enter: Toby.  With his apparent dairy allergies I had to go 100% dairy free if we wanted him to last 10 minutes without coughing and choking on mucous.  It wasn't such a hard switch in some ways because it was necessary.  I didn't really have a choice.  If I wanted to nurse him, I had to give up my cream cheeses and buttery muffins, and everything yummy (or so it seemed). I had a pinterest board dedicated to all the things I wished I could eat but I wasn't too phased.

Then I weaned Toby.  Now I could have dairy.  Yessss!  But then, I started to wonder...

I've been without it for a year, I've established new eating habits, Toby's still having problems with dairy and I refuse to make multiple meals for our family, so if I'm ever going to continue with not eating it - it's now.  Christmas day brought dairy back into my gut but then a gory battle of intestines vs. host ensued.  Hmmm.  

With an added benefit, the scales had been rather forgiving with my removal of dairy and I haven't been too surprised to see the numbers start to climb with the addition of pizzas and baked goods.

So the dilemma.  One of my goals this year (although I haven't quite been able to articulate it) is to allow myself to have my eyes opened.  I've closed my eyes for a long time about the health and ethical reasons to go dairy or animal-product free, but I think it's time for some education.


That's where change begins right?  I'm reading some books, watching some documentaries, and accepting opinions and ideas.  Where does everyone stand on their 'food ideologies?'  I realize that it's rather personal and everyone's bodies might be different, but has there been any great reads or great inputs that have really cemented in your mind your food choices?

Low glycemic index?  Local?  Organic? Raw?  Paleo? Thoughts?

p.s. So far I think we're leaning towards going mostly vegetarian, with little dairy, and as is my habit, make as much stuff from scratch as I have the time or interest to be able to do.

Recent food endeavors:

My new favourite salad: grapefruit, avocado and orange.  YUM.

Homemade blueberry fruit snacks.  I loved them, Toby loved them, Silas cried because he didn't want to finish his piece and hated it that much....you win some, you lose some.

Cheese-free quiche (with soy and eggs)

Jason's birthday cheesecake (which I couldn't eat any of).   We saved 1/2 in the freezer for the day I could eat dairy and pulled it out the other night... it tasted like freezer.  So. Sad.  and SO gross.  Ugh.