I'm not gonna lie. I am very much disliking these new 'cut backs.' All I can think about are those cinnamon buns in the fridge. And the beautiful boxes of chocolate from Christmas. And my lovely friend who just gave me a starbucks card, which I am desperate to use. I literally almost threw a fit trying to pack my snacks for my night shift last night. "WHAT CAN I EVEN EAT?!" I even sneakily packed some crackers and granola bars in my lunch bag when Jason wasn't looking (?) as I complained and whined to him about my current lack of food choices. I pulled the pregnancy card too. But he just looked at me like "well, you are the one setting these rules, so, shouldn't you abide by them?" He totally called me out on my excuse tactics.
Blast!
SO that's how day 1 and 2 are going. I have not yet 'cheated' but I've sure tried to come up with ways around my own rules (isn't legalism fun?) But of course, as soon as I think "OH, I could have that" I am reminded that, oh yes, it does have chocolate in it (ex: hot chocolate), or yes, it does have sugar in it. Because, let's face it, those are the two things I want, usually.
I was craving sweet things so bad yesterday that I ate 1/4 of a pineapple and am currently suffering from canker sores.
But then I read this today in my "Extending the Table" cookbook that Jason bought me from Ten Thousand Villages this Christmas.
It talks about feasting and fasting and how many cultures still only eat meat or other choice foods when there is truly something to celebrate:
"When affluence allows people to feast too frequently and independently of others, feasting loses much of its joy and integrity. It results in ill health and dulls our sensitiviy to the needs of others. Reclaiming the feast may require learning to fast. Regularly abstaining from meat and other rich foods can be a spiritual act of solidarity. Reserving for special events foods we might easily afford, but that are luxury items in the world economy, unites us with those who have less. As we learn to fast with the poor, let us also learn their patterns of feasting and celebration. Let us be content with ordinary food on ordinary days." p.203
I will pull up my bootstraps, close the door to my pantry rich with snacks and chocolates, and eat my orange (the sweetest thing I can find in my house at this time). AND I will appreciate appreciating that I have more than enough food for myself and my family for another day; unlike so many others in the world.
Wow, that quote is amazing. I see this same pattern in my life - except all I need to do is tilt my head to look out my window to see others who are barely eating enough to survive, so I actually have no excuses not to be thinking about these things. But I don't want to! Thanks for the kick in the pants, even virtually. :)
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