To Be Drowned

A little girl with a pony tail.  Sun shining bright on her rosy cheeks, beach clothes whipping around her 3 year old body.  Standing at the shore, ankle deep.

Gazing out at the ocean.  It's sparkling vastness beyond measure.  As far as her eyes can see is blue.

She squints into the distance as her toes dig deeper in the flour-like white sand.  Curled under.  Waves lapping against her legs, again and again.

In her hands, a bucket.  Smaller than a juice box.  Bigger than her fist.

Jaw squared, eyes determined.  She is gonna catch that big blue sea in her bucket.

I was walking along the gulf and this girl caught my eye.  You see, I was in the midst of a conversation with God about His love.  I was trembling at the ocean side, amazed and fearful of the power and depth of the ocean before me.  How great.  How vast.  How relentless in its waves.  And I felt God saying His love is like that Ocean.  Only better.

Endless, deep, measureless, abundant, His love. And in the pounding of the waves I hear His love pursuing me again, and again.

And there I was, seeing myself in that little tiny girl.  Trying to catch His love in my little juice-box bucket. Limiting Him.  Believing Him for so little.

A little girl with a bucket, trying to catch the waves.

But He says, jump in to the endless deep.  Don't be afraid to spill it on the sand, throw it around, dive in it. Be engulfed by it.  Immersed in it.  Surrounded by it.  Dive in!  It will never end, His love.  I don't have to be afraid to lose it.  There is no scarcity when it comes to God's love.  No end to its reaches.  No shore it cannot overtake.

Fathomless.  Bottomless.  And as I step into the waves, each step deeper is a step closer to freedom.

And words penned in these songs ring out in my soul over and over again:

"My fears are drowned in perfect love!"

"And further and further, my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours.
And you CRUSH over me
I've lost control, but I'm free
I'm going under, I'm in over my head.
Beautifully over my head."

Oh to be drowned in the ocean of His love.  Weightless.  Fearless.  Because unlike the ocean, His love will never run out.  Could never be measured.  Will never give up on me.