Gardening isn't for pansies

Pruning.  Sounds about as fun as one might expect, especially when you're the one getting poked, cut down, trimmed back, and being held back from the fruit you so desire to produce. 

Ever since Silas was born over and over (and over) again I have stumbled upon messages about gardens.  I love imagery and metaphors and this one in particular speaks so strongly of what is going on in my own life.  I have more specifically heard messages and sermons, songs and poems, encouragements and prayers ALL talking about pruning.  Okay.  I get it God.  The struggles and trials I experience are in fact, allowed by You, in order to prune me.

Yippee! (kind of said sarcastically, but also with my hands tossed up in the air finally granting Him permission, even though he doesn't need it)

How I long to have fruit in my life, to be a mature believer, to be able to stand strongly on God's Word and have it flow out into my thoughts, emotions, and actions- to produce fruits of righteousness and goodness  etc.  How I long to be productive and fruitful for the Church, for others.  And how much more yet needs to be done in my heart.  Not that I believe people can't produce fruit while also in the midst of pruning, but phew, God's revealing that I'm a bit of a tangled mess and need much pruning yet.

I can't say I like pruning.  Pruning is painful.  I have shoots from my heart that are draining me of life.  Shoots of idolatry, materialism, despair, bad attitudes.  This is just the first and visible layer.  I know that the roots of these shoots go down deep- roots of bitterness and fear and unbelief.  They need to be dug up.

Oh, but I don't just need pruning, apparently I need lots of weeding action too.  I have weeds, lies that I have believed for so long, that I have a hard time deciphering truth and cannot trust my deceitful heart.

Ouch. 

Ever feel SO far from where you want to be?  I look at my little vegetable garden that we just started planting (yes, not only have I heard message after message about gardening, but God in His goodness ALSO gave me a garden plot to work on over these past months for me to REALLY get it) and think how piddly!  How pathetic!  A few little shoots of greenery here and there.  I want to have it FULL of BIG vegetables. 

But it's not there yet.  It's growing, incrementally.  When I walk over day after day I'm disappointed.  What?  They are only a cm tall???  Maybe it's the same with my spiritual growth.  I am growing, but a mm at a time, incrementally.  It's a process- right? 

Arg process.  I am born of a culture which looks for the end product, for instant, for quick gratifcation.  But gardens, plants (and me) are all growing slowly, incrementally.  And just when they are about to produce fruit, they are cut back. Good thing it's God pruning us.  He has the guts to cut out what WE think is the good stuff, so that we produce even MORE of the truly good stuff.  Gardening isn't for pansies that's for sure.

As part of the process I'm learning to choose to thank God for the pruning, even as He cuts.  Because not only will it produce 'glory that far outweighs' the suffering, but it will bring me closer to Him.