Winter Rose

I am not an avid gardener, but I kind of want to be.  There are so many life lessons that can be learned from gardening.  I took a trip to the nursery in late fall and hoped to fix up my front gardens with some things that would grow over this wet and dreary time of year.  Low and behold, without much attention, my beautiful winter roses have bloomed.
'Did she say bloomed?' oh yes I did.  My roses just started blooming this past week.  This brings me much hope.

The other day as I was spending time reflecting on some of the difficulties over this past year, my trials and sufferings, I looked out my window to see these flowers budding and felt so hopeful.

I want to be a winter rose.  Growing and blooming despite hard soil, wind, rain, snow (the rose bush had a foot of snow covering it before the flowers bloomed a few days later). I look around and in this time of year and weather, nothing else seems to be blooming.  That's the type of character I want to have.  That's the type of person I want to be.
I want to bloom in the difficult seasons.  I want the endurance, the perseverance and faith to wait for the fruit and the beauty, through the darkest times of my life.

Household Projects etc.

Not sure what motivated all this, but here are some of my latest projects around the house.  


1. mmmmmore cupcakes.  
This time around it was cookies and cream cupcakes.  I overbaked them a touch, but they were otherwise yummy.  The bottom had half a cookie in it, the dough had chopped up oreos in it, and the top was a cream-cheese frosting.  
calories?  ha ha.  don't ask.

Recipe from Annie's Eats blog.

2. Gardening

Went and saw Brian Minter speak at our Church/community gardening event.  He is a gardening guru and got me inspired about winter gardening.  

Oops.  Went to the gardening store and spent 100 bucks.  But now we have a beautiful front plot (although, there is more to do) and I made this lovely winter bucket ALL BY MYSELF.  All the plants should survive the winter.  

Finger's crossed.  (psssst don't tell them that I killed the three flowers I planted in the summer...)

3. Sewing

My grandmother gave me HER mother's sewing machine.

Introducing:  my very own Bernina.  (Bern for short)

She's old.  She's solid.  She's a bit sassy...She's swiss. She's a hard worker and was a movie star sewing machine back in her day.

Mom came over and helped me figure her out.  She is a bit complicated and needs a bit of tender love, but we're figuring each other out.

Here's what we've accomplished together so far:

Amazing isn't it?  I mean, I am a terrible sewer.  Terrible.  The first two minutes alone with Bern, and we were already fighting.  She was groaning and whining.  I was grumpy and a bit rough with her...

But then.  There was a moment of understanding and, look what we accomplished!

Hello beautiful little pillow cover!  I carried this little gem from room to room trying to find a perfect location for it.  

I know.  Weird.

But here's the catch.  

I have a LOT more to re-cover.

It's okay.  Bern and I will do it.  (Right Bern?)

Oh....and did I tell you, Bern, we're going to sew a quilt together too?

I bought all these fabrics in Ghana well over a year ago.  The plan was to make a quilt to remember our trip  by.

We'll see how long this takes me to accomplish...

4.  re-decorating?

We have a family room attached to our kitchen.  It was getting over-crowded with furniture.  Not kid friendly.  New plan:  playroom!

So we painted a fun chalkboard on the wall (thanks Jackie for the idea and the paint)

And, I removed some furniture and put a nice reading chair (whose cushion will be re-covered soon), some fun flooring, and I will be putting up a toy organizer, possibly a bulletin board and some educational letters on the walls/maps etc.  

Any other fun ideas for a play room- pass them along!

So.  Yes.  Lots to do...

(And that's not even mentioning my continued scrapbook project of our Europe trip, the knitting project I'm starting, and card making....oh, and trying to cook like Jamie Oliver).

Gardening isn't for pansies

Pruning.  Sounds about as fun as one might expect, especially when you're the one getting poked, cut down, trimmed back, and being held back from the fruit you so desire to produce. 

Ever since Silas was born over and over (and over) again I have stumbled upon messages about gardens.  I love imagery and metaphors and this one in particular speaks so strongly of what is going on in my own life.  I have more specifically heard messages and sermons, songs and poems, encouragements and prayers ALL talking about pruning.  Okay.  I get it God.  The struggles and trials I experience are in fact, allowed by You, in order to prune me.

Yippee! (kind of said sarcastically, but also with my hands tossed up in the air finally granting Him permission, even though he doesn't need it)

How I long to have fruit in my life, to be a mature believer, to be able to stand strongly on God's Word and have it flow out into my thoughts, emotions, and actions- to produce fruits of righteousness and goodness  etc.  How I long to be productive and fruitful for the Church, for others.  And how much more yet needs to be done in my heart.  Not that I believe people can't produce fruit while also in the midst of pruning, but phew, God's revealing that I'm a bit of a tangled mess and need much pruning yet.

I can't say I like pruning.  Pruning is painful.  I have shoots from my heart that are draining me of life.  Shoots of idolatry, materialism, despair, bad attitudes.  This is just the first and visible layer.  I know that the roots of these shoots go down deep- roots of bitterness and fear and unbelief.  They need to be dug up.

Oh, but I don't just need pruning, apparently I need lots of weeding action too.  I have weeds, lies that I have believed for so long, that I have a hard time deciphering truth and cannot trust my deceitful heart.

Ouch. 

Ever feel SO far from where you want to be?  I look at my little vegetable garden that we just started planting (yes, not only have I heard message after message about gardening, but God in His goodness ALSO gave me a garden plot to work on over these past months for me to REALLY get it) and think how piddly!  How pathetic!  A few little shoots of greenery here and there.  I want to have it FULL of BIG vegetables. 

But it's not there yet.  It's growing, incrementally.  When I walk over day after day I'm disappointed.  What?  They are only a cm tall???  Maybe it's the same with my spiritual growth.  I am growing, but a mm at a time, incrementally.  It's a process- right? 

Arg process.  I am born of a culture which looks for the end product, for instant, for quick gratifcation.  But gardens, plants (and me) are all growing slowly, incrementally.  And just when they are about to produce fruit, they are cut back. Good thing it's God pruning us.  He has the guts to cut out what WE think is the good stuff, so that we produce even MORE of the truly good stuff.  Gardening isn't for pansies that's for sure.

As part of the process I'm learning to choose to thank God for the pruning, even as He cuts.  Because not only will it produce 'glory that far outweighs' the suffering, but it will bring me closer to Him.