Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Snot, and Other Amazing Childhood Mysteries

Okay, I'm a nurse.  So people come to me all the time asking questions that I should know the answer to, cause I should know every random fact related to health, right?  But I don't.

Take for example these many 'health' mysteries that I have pondered since being a parent, like:

1. How does the body produce so much snot?  I mean, where does it all come from?  I am pretty sure Toby  should be bone dry by now, skin parched, joints fused, cells dehydrated, but no.  His nose keeps liquefying all over every surface of our house. Shouldn't his head be concave for lack of all the fluid it's lost?  Nope.  His noggin remains firm. Huh?  

2. How does childhood sleep math work?  I mean, is there some formula somewhere?  A child is overtired, but is less likely to sleep.  Then if they sleep more, they sleep better for longer.  What?  Shouldn't this be basic addition and subtraction?  They lose sleep, they should make up for it the next time right?  RIGHT?  

3. Where do teeth come from?  I mean, they are lying dormant under the gums and then they just erupt, from where?  What?  Am I missing something here?  Does bone just appear?

4. Vomit.  To anyone who hasn't witnessed this, you probably think that us parents are lying.  But it's true: how in the world does a child of such small stature, projectile puke so far?  I know I was never good at physics, but it seems somehow improbable that children can cover such distant lands in such numerous quantities of putrid stench, without taking a running leap at the same time.  So. Weird.

5.  There are periods of time when it seems like Silas survives off of air and fishy crackers.  Yet, by some miracle, he still produces an enormous amount of poop.  Huh?  I figured quantity in = quantity out.  But no.  He is an overachiever.  He is above his class, advanced you might say, in his ability to ingest nothing and empty his entire intestines.  It's really remarkable.  And disgusting.  (Mostly disgusting- even for a nurse).

I'm sure many of these mysteries could be solved with a query to my faithful friend Google  but where is the fun if there are no mysteries left unsolved?  Instead, I will just ponder and wonder at the miracle of growing humans and their miraculous body fluids and such.

Any mysteries of child-science that you marvel at?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...