Miracle

Rewind a month ago.  There was something terribly wrong in my family.  Silas and I were not getting along at all.  I found myself getting so angry and impatient with him all the time.

I was often disciplining out of anger and felt so easily frustrated.  I was often bitter and mean.

Simultaneously, Silas was not only testing boundaries with me constantly, but it was almost like he disdained me.  He was disrespectful, defiant, and rude.  We were in Ontario visiting family and I found myself often crying about our relationship.  I told Jason that I thought I was losing Silas.  Maybe that sounds extreme, but a real fear was growing inside of me, "What am I doing wrong?  Where will this child end up if this is our relationship?  What foundations is my attitude laying for our future?" I know he's 2 but there was some serious walls that I felt like we had between us.  I even found myself saying to Jason that I had a hard time even liking Silas at all.

It was bad.

Then, Silas started over and over saying "I don't like Mommy."  This broke my heart.  He's 2 but he certainly understands what that means.  I really began crying out to God.  Oh, I had prayed for us but it was more like a "Help God, what do I do?  Give me wisdom!"  sort of prayer.

Then a miracle happened.

One day coming back from a family outing, Silas fell asleep in Oma and Opa's van just before coming home. I decided to carry him into the house but halfway inside Silas seemed really cranky so I just sat in the porch swing with him.  

I was just swinging, and holding him, and cuddling him and was amazed to see that he fell asleep.  And a wave of emotion poured through me.  I began crying over our relationship and all it's fractures.  Welling up inside of me was an overwhelming urge that in this special moment, I needed to pray for him, OVER him, and pray for us.

So I sat there.  I rocked him for over an hour and wept over him, prayed out loud for him, sang to him, and spoke scripture to him.  I felt like I needed to reassure Silas of my love for him and my acceptance of him.  I cried out to God and just asked that He break down whatever spiritual divide or emotional divide was between Silas and I.  I prayed for more patience, for more affection, for more graciousness with Silas.  I prayed that God would restore Silas to me.  And I prayed that God would loose in me an ability to speak of God's love to him.

The time holding Silas was so sweet and precious.  Rarely could I get Silas to let me hug him for more than 5 seconds before this time.

And you know, God answered my prayers.  Immediately, unbelievably, and in such a wonderfully profound way- God answered.  Ever since that time it's like the walls have fallen down.  I find myself understanding Silas better, being more able to reassure and encourage him, and more able to discipline him in a loving way. I find him responding to me, and there is an easy flow of affection between us- more than ever before.  Silas just yesterday was saying "I love you Mommy, you're special," and I am so thankful.  So grateful for this incredible answer to prayer.  

Thank God for his grace in this journey of parenthood.

"I spilled the blueberries"

"I spilled the blueberries."  This phrase has come to haunt me over the past week.  

The scene: 

I had attempted to grocery shop with two little boys.  It was mostly going well although it was requiring an enormous amount of energy to keep them entertained, behaved, and prevent them from de-shelving everything (while simultaneously navigating a grocery store that I hate).

However, mid-shop I needed to take Silas to the potty.  Can someone please tell me how one is supposed to hold a wiggly, acrobatic 7 month old who can reach further than seems humanly possible and is keen on sucking on every surface WHILE stripping a toddler of their clothes, lifting them onto the potty and then doing that whole thing again in reverse?

How?
My options were 1. leave Toby in the grocery cart outside of the bathroom (Obviously this would be neglectful and dangerous so that wasn't going to work) 2. take the cart into the bathroom (they wouldn't let me nor would it fit) 3. put Toby on the floor in the bathroom stall (gross, gross, gross) or 4. grunt, groan, complain and exclaim as I tried to both hold Toby and help Silas.

Anyways.  

The shop continued with Silas getting restless and aggressive with Toby so he ended up walking at his toddler -5km/hr pace making me ever so frustrated.  By the time I had paid and finally loaded the groceries in bags (I would almost pay to have someone do this for me) I was very ready to be done shopping.

My exhaustion was rising, I had to pee, and both boys needed to get home to be fed and sleep so the scene was worsening by the second.  Just at the exit I realized I couldn't find my keys.  We were in-between doorways and I was in the home stretch and I was rooting through my purse to no avail.

No keys to be seen.  Frustration rising.  Well, I gave Silas the box of blueberries to hold, instructing him to hold onto them very carefully.  I gave him the berries partially to placate him and partially to motivate him to behave. I told him he could have some once we got to the car.  I'm on the floor at this point, almost to the desperate point of dumping my purse out when:

Crash.

All I see are blueberries around me.  Silas is wailing and I just snapped.  I didn't yell and scream, but I was very angry.  I gave Silas a hard time and made him feel bad about him dropping the blueberries.  "Look what you've done.  Now you won't get any blueberries.  I told you to hold them carefully now look what's happened... etc" But I went too far.  Much too far.

Oh, I can justify my actions: "I was exhausted, I was tired, I was pushed to the limit of what I am capable of doing as a person..." But I made him feel ashamed for what was probably an accident.  

Over a week later and Silas still brings this up every time I discipline him.  He'll be in trouble for something and I'll be trying to discipline him, he'll be upset, and then he'll just cry and say,"I dropped the blueberries."

Uh oh.

Can someone please tell me how to raise a rambunctious, boundary-pushing, strong willed, emotional, smart, and incredibly literate boy? I am pushed and pulled and worn thin and rung out each and every day with this boy.  He depletes most of my emotional energy.  One minute he is creative, imaginative, playful, fun, energetic, charming and charismatic making me laugh and wonder at this gift of life.  The next minute (literally the next minute) he is obstinate, deaf to instruction, rude, aggressive, obnoxious, loud, aggressive, controlling and temperamental.  

How am I supposed to be a firm but loving Mother?  How am I supposed to be kind and gracious, compassionate and forgiving while also needing to be firm and provide discipline?  How am I supposed to weather this toddler season without going literally insane?

I don't want to repeat the blueberry incident but I am stretched so often in my abilities to care for this 2 year old, I'm afraid these scenes happen too often. I am often out of wisdom and creative ideas in how to motivate, instruct and inspire obedience.  Oh, by the way I have a baby in the background who may or may not be crying, falling off of furniture and barfing into clean laundry baskets.  Oh, by the way, it hasn't stopped raining for a month. Oh, by the way, I get easily angered, I am trying to maintain a perfectly clean home, I am desperate for control, I try to do this in my own strength, I am incredibly hard on myself, I'm very selfish, I am a horrible sinner and I rarely get a solid 6 hours of sleep a night.  

Okay God.  I need your help.  No, I really really really mean it this time.  

River

I didn't intend to write a post today but re-reading old journals of mine made me want to write.  Some of the prayers I uttered not long ago are still upon my lips.  

"Change me, renew me, revive me, refine me, use me, make me more like Jesus..."  I have started to realize that this journey of motherhood is not a detour off the road  to where I'm going, it is not an accidental path.  It is the very road on which God placed me to answer all my prayers.  

He intended me to be a Mother so that I could learn the very lessons I have been longing to learn.  The question is, now that my prayer is being answered, am I still willing to surrender? Am I willing to do the work?  Be worked upon?  I am finding myself increasingly helpless and dependent.  

Hands up, head down, knees bent I am a toddler in need of discipline and care as I learn to raise my children.  The demands of motherhood are like a river.  I am a stone.  

The river's current flows unrelenting, over and around me, smashing all my rough edges.  I am worn down by it, smoothed over, worked on and banged up by the constant flow.  It never ends.  Its weight and worth are heavy.  I cannot bend, I must break down.  I must submit to it because I am already wholly submersed.  

The old me is being rubbed away so that I can be smooth in His hands.  I want this but I don't.  I want to be more gracious, more compassionate and loving, more patient, more self controlled but the change is painful and slow.  

All the things I want for my heart come by submitting.  I need to stop seeing the process as the enemy.  It's an answer to prayer.  The pain, the inconveniences, the anxieties, the difficulties... scraped knees, bleeding lips, puke on clean laundry, irregular schedules, tantrums, and all that each day brings is God's provision for the very change I long for.  "Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:6 (my life verse).  Oh that I would embrace the opportunities for growth and change. 

Toby is awake an hour before he 'should' be.  End of blog post.  The river rages another day.  

Groceries

God,
I need patience, when it seems like every little hiccup in our journey out the door derails my emotions
I need your perspective, when forgetting my grocery list halfway to the store becomes an unecessary crisis 
I need your graciousness, when the hum of a toddler whining in the back of the car affects my mood enough to make me rude to strangers
I need your strength, when I'm trying to balance a baby on my hip (prevent him from licking the bathroom stall) while trying to help a toddler onto the potty
I need your sense of humour when the former is a g.o.n.g. show.
I need a reminder of your grace, when I am angry at spilled blueberries on the grocery store floor
I need your forgiveness, when I make my child feel shame for what was just an accident
I need humility, when I realize that the accident was really my fault
I need endurance, when lunch needs to be made, groceries unloaded, babies put to bed...(all before I can have a chance to pee and eat my own lunch)
I need a reminder of your provisions for us, that we have access to food and money to buy it
I need You.  For only in You can I find abundant life in the grocery store, on a Monday morning.

Into the Awkward

I have crossed over.  I am no longer a 'new' mom but am becoming a 'seasoned mom.'  I am not quite at pro status but I have adapted enough that I am becoming that awkard mom.  I used to be a prude.  I used to think certain things were inappropriate, rude, or just downright awkard.  

Now I catch myself doing these things out of convenience, necessity, resourcefulness and in sheer desperation. 

Take the following for example:

1. I hardly use a nursing cover.  I used to be so concerned, made sure to have a nursing bra, shirt and cover and hide away.  Now?  Forget it.  Wrestling a 6 month older under a cover is the least of my concerns.  Hiding my woohoos from view?  Sorry.  I just don't have the energy.

2. I have used my shirt sleeve to wipe my kids' nose.  Gross.  But whatever.

3. I forget to shut the bathroom door.  I mean, usually I remember.  But during the day it's wide open to keep my eye on an ever mischievous child so if I remember while I have company, you should feel special!

4. Any surface is fair game for changing a diaper.  I remember cringing when a mom changed her child's diaper on my coffee table.  Ha!  I don't even use a change pad anymore!  (I'm just that quick, like a ninja... or maybe lazy).

5. I no longer hold in my farts while running, when there's people around.  We all do it people!  I've been desensitized by a farting, belching, "I pooooooped!" shouting 2 year old.

6. I've walked around whole days without half of my nursing bra snapped into place.  Oops. Lopsided.  Used to be awkward. 

7.  Close all the blinds in order to nurse Toby?  Nope. I figure if you're peeping through my windows you deserve to get a shocker.

8.  I've walked around with tags on my new shirt without noticing- you know the sticky kind along the front of your shirt/pants which says the size?  Why don't they make them more noticeable anyways?  I figure, why wash something that's new?  That's just more laundry...

9.  I didn't have socks to wear at a kids play place.  So?  I crammed my 2 year olds' socks onto my feet.  They fit somehow! 

10. Nursing pads?  They work as bum wipes, nose wipes, and if you use two together: pads.  I'm not gonna lie.

11. Bathroom talk.  I have a double dose of awkward: I'm a nurse and a mother of a potty-training toddler.  I no longer realize I'm talking about poop or pee mid conversation.  It's always relevant.  Always.

12. I try on clothes overtop of my clothes at stores.  I remember thinking that was so awkward and weird.  Now?  Soooo convenient.

13. I still use a half-eaten chapstick.  Who has time to buy more?
14. I eat slobbered on, half eaten, mushed and mashed leftover food bits from Silas.  Even off the floor.  Or the ground.  Or (gasp) even out of a car seat.  I'm not gonna lie.  It's been done.  When else do I get a chance to eat these days?
15.  And the piece de resistance: I don't care if I change in the public section of the change room at the gym or pool.  It's a body.  It's naked.  Whatever.  I used to FREAK about this: "That's so awkward!  How do moms let everything just hang there for everyone to see their lumps and bumps?  Gross!"  Now?  I can't be bothered to hide away. 

The Shannon of 10 years ago would have been grossed out about the Shannon now.  Motherhood in all its awkward glory. What are some of your awkard habits?

Cleaning the Closets

I have written random poems, reflections, rants and ramblings that are crammed into computer folders.  They are hidden away, shoved behind a closed door marked "writings."  I've decided to fling wide the doors of my 'closet' and air these collections out.  

Who knows:  maybe I'll find a treasure. Maybe some of these wrinkly messes will bless others. Or, maybe they're back there for a reason.  Help me clean out my closets.  

I'll be posting some writings.  Let me know what you think!  If I suck at poetry, let me know (gently).   Let's see what is back there, dusty in a corner, ignored and unfruitful.

Here's the first one. It's probably not my best, it's probably cheesy, but here it is. [You'll note that when I wrote this I only had "4 limbs" to mother but this amount has doubled!  If I were to re-write it I would add an additional paragraph about 2 year olds, there would be more mention of laundry, and the hum of a dishwasher and a crying baby would be somehow heard above the beating drum of my predictable rhymes].

Just Another Day

I awake, get dressed, and fight the fatigue

a little boy greets me, running at full speed.

Smiling and talking 100 miles per hour,

“tractor, truck, cookie, train, cake, and tower.”

Breakfast and dressing, diapers, and tag,

dishes, and laundry, one more dirty rag.

Rooms to be organized, owies to kiss

4 limbs that want wrestling, an appointment to miss.

I groan and I sigh, “If only today,”

“could be something different: extra-ordinary,” I say.

“No. It’s just another day.”

But then I think upon that statement and wonder how it could be

that I’d want more than my life, even at its same speed.

Food in the pantry, roof overhead,

clothes for our covering, sheets for our bed.

A husband and father who works, receives pay

then comes home to kiss me at the end of our day.

Our nation's not at war, our health: intact.

Our family is supportive, our wealth: a fact.

Some have no peace, no hope in the divine

And me? I have both. Ingratitude is my crime.

How can I possibly complain in remorse

that today is simply ordinary, a typical life’s course?

Instead:

I’ll choose joy and be thankful once more

for the balls thrown right at me, and food on the floor.

I’ll laugh at the experience of moments like these

I’ll smile, and I’ll savour, and I will this breath seize.

I'll awaken to my life, the one that I hold

it is fragile, it is blessed, it’s a mystery to unfold.

Even when I wonder what life is like ‘out there’

as I stare out the window and feel it’s unfair:

I’ll remember to praise the Giver before this day ends.

because even if this day’s ordinary, God did for me send:

Hope for my future in chaos and pain

a savior, His presence in the dark, dreary rain.

Provisions, protection, Christ: my hope and my source

And He is the ‘extra’ in every ordinary days’ course.

Nursing, Body Image and Letting Go

Wow.  Today marks the first day that my body is 'my own' again [with the exception of my husband of course]  after 9 months of pregnancy, 14 months of nursing, and more than 2000 feedings later....and here I am. Just me.  No baby in my belly to support, no baby in my arms to nourish.  Just me.  I have to admit, it's been hard letting go of the last nursing.  Silas doesn't need it anymore and, well, I was shocked to admit that I was the one wanting to keep nursing him.  I feel like I have to already start letting go of my baby boy.  He's not a baby anymore: he's got 4 teeth now, climbs the stairs independently and has his own agenda.  But, I have not been ready to let go of him 'needing' me.  Partly because he is ultra in love with his daddy and I was a little sad to relinquish the last real reason I had for him needing me more.  I also think part of the reason is because never in my life have I felt better about my body than over these past 2 years.  Carrying a child in pregnancy was a joy and I felt beautiful and strong.  Afterwards, even though I felt, for the first time, freedom to eat whatever and however much I wanted because I was nursing a child, I actually ate the best I probably ever have. Suddenly, how I 'looked' to the outside world didn't matter as much anymore: I was a mom!  


Funny.  If you would have asked me a number of months ago about giving up nursing, I would have been jumping up and down excited.  Crazy how things change.  Nursing was definitely challenging: engorgement and pain at first, frustrating and time-consuming at other times, messy and irritating and overwhelming....I couldn't imagine the thought of nursing a child to a year old when Silas was 3 months or so because it just felt SO hard!  But here I am.  14 months later and having a hard time giving it up!  It's been an amazing journey and I'm not sure I've ever kept up with something so long!  It's been a joy holding and cuddling my little boy, being needed and depended upon, having the ability and gift of being about to nourish Silas each and every day.  I can't believe I'll never nurse him again- that makes me so sad!  Never again will he need me as much.  I know, he'll need me in different ways, and I still am providing love, support, direction, and care for him every day....but....sigh.  


I have to admit that with this 'letting go,' I've had major 'wanna-nother-baby' blues lately. Somehow I feel like now that I've been needed so much, I don't want to let that go!  However, the reality is that with my sleep still the way it is and my dependence on sleeping pills, J and I think God may be wanting us to wean me off these medications and go back to as natural of a sleep as possible, before blessing us with another little life.  We trust His perfect timing for another baby, Lord willing.  I hope it's soon though because I miss being pregnant and I already miss nursing!!!!


I guess Silas and I will bond in other ways:

My Handsome Posing Son

Nothing like my handsome, amazing, hilarious little boy to add sunshine to my home and life.  Here he is.  It was an impromptu photo shoot because the light was coming in just so, and he was focused enough on my phone to sit still for photos.  Sigh.  So cute.

You Know You're a Mom When....

Comical insights I've learned over these past 12 (gulp) months of initiation as a Mom.
You know you're a mom when....
-you finally have to buy concealer cause the bags under your eyes are just too big
-you use the bottom of your own shirt to wipe your son's nose
-you're not ashamed to stick your nose down your child's shorts to take a good 'wiff' (hey, it's the best way to tell if they've pooped or not!)
-your diaper bag is your purse (or your purse is your diaper bag?  either way, it's true)
-you don't mind eating teeny, tiny pieces of discarded food from your child's plate
-you go out of the house with either spit up on your shirt or food stains.  And you don't care so much anymore.
-you get excited about buying toy bins at ikea
-*personal mom-comment ahead*: you walk around without your nursing bra snapped in for most of the day
-even if your son's face is covered in snot, food, and has a rash all over it- you still think he's cute and can't resist sudden urges to kiss his cheeks off
-you think every noise-making-toy sounds like your crying child when he's down for a nap
-you clap hysterically whenever your child does something new- even if it's the smallest thing

This has been quite the year. I feel so privileged to have Silas along on this adventure with Jason and I.  He's brought so much joy and laughter, and has filled up all the empty spaces of our life (and home).  I'm excited to see what this year brings and slightly scared to death.  Now begins the rumblings of discipline and spiritual guidance of which I'm terrified of.  Lord help us raise Silas well!

*Getting into present opening


A few new accomplishments of my one year old:
-he stood up without holding onto anything (for a few seconds) the other day!
-he stands all the time now and cruises all over every bit of furniture
-he can clap when we say 'yay' and lifts his hands straight up when we say 'praise the Lord.'  We're still working on some baby sign language but I think he can say 'more' with sign language and knows the sign for 'milk.'
-he climbed stairs for the first time the other day (only a couple steps and only a few times)
-he loves it when I throw something to the ground and say 'ka-boom'  (oops, should I be teaching him this?)
-he's a great eater for the most part but has a particular love for fruit and breads....he also has a post-yogurt-tantrum because he loves it so much and gets upset when his container is empty!

Sporting his birthday boy crown- made by his 5 year old friend Micaiah!

Hanging out with cousin Allie

Standing away!

"My work is done here..."

Showing off his fashionable 'faux-hawk'

 

Enjoying the Montreal BioDome

Family shot at the BioDome

Yes. We really did leave him just sitting in the snow while we cleared the frozen pond (so we could skate on it).  He enjoyed his little command post, really!

Lovin the snow with Daddy!  I guess there IS a bit of ontario in his veins

First bites of cake.  Pre-choke-fest.  Then he didn't like it anymore.

OH how we love this little boy and are thankful to God for entrusting him to us! 

Mommy Stuff

This post is mainly to ask a few questions of other moms.  I realize I learn best from others that I trust and love (rather than online searching) so I'm wondering about a few things.  Please feel free to respond to my post by messages at the bottom or through facebook/e-mail.  


First though, a few precious mommy moments:
1. Silas knows how to kiss now!  And by kiss, I mean, that he dives towards my mouth with a wide open, drooly, sticky wide mouth and, well, it's sooo icky and cute all at the same time.
2. Silas is still 'crawling' and now will crawl up to my feet and grab my feet to get me to pick him up.  Precious.


For the questions:
1. How did you wean your babe off breastfeeding?  Silas is 9 months, eating well and lots, but still breastfeeds 4-5 times a day.  He refuses to take formula from me instead of breastfeeding, and still doesn't drink tons of water.  He has the smallest breastfeeds (except the first one of the day and last one at night) but how do I wean him down?  I want to have him weaned by a year, so I have some time, but I'm curious how everyone else did it.  Oh, and how often did you breastfeed at this age?


2. How do y'all spend your time during the day?  Do you spend focused time reading with your little one and 'teaching', doing chores, getting out, etc.  What DO other moms do with themselves- at home all the time?


3. Anyone else try sign language?  We've been reinforcing a few words for a few months without any signing back to us.  Any tricks to help teach kids sign language- and know when they start to sign back?

4.  Ummm. I had another question.  Totally forget.  Darn it!  Mommy brain.


5. In liu of question 4, any handy/yummy foods you made for your kid at 9 months of age?  


All for now!
Thanks fellow moms!

Teething Sucks

Teething (def): noun, expletive [TEETHING!], whereby your child becomes inconsolable, fussy, unnecessarily irritable, frustrated, edgy, and generally weepy.  May also be accompanied by lack of eating, lack of sleeping, lack of joy, lack of good humor, lack of acceptance of most methods of parental soothing such as (but not limited to) peak-a-boo, distraction and 'shoosh'-ing.  


How many times must Silas endure this infantile torture?

Random Happenings

What's new?

This is what we've been up to:

1. Helping out with a missions event at our Church.  Jason's making a promo video, I'm doing some graphic design type of stuff.

2. Re-organizing our home.  I want to turn our family room into more of a 'play' room.  We're planning on some chalkboard paint, some kiddie style floor mats, some toy bins...etc.

3. Hanging out with friends who have more kids than us.  Moral: ENJOY having ONE right now.

4. Going for walks and adventures with Silas.  He loves being out, socializing, 

and going for hikes in his new baby backpack.

5. New favorite photo of Silas (pre-cry):

6. trying new cupcake recipes such as this mocha cupcake with espresso/cream cheese buttercream frosting.

7. Getting ready for the busyness of fall.  I'm trying to be out and about a bit each day for Silas' and my own sake. Ex: tot romp at the community centre, swimming lessons, stroller fit classes, and co-hostessing a table at a weekly Church women's get-together.

8. Silas is very chatty these days saying 'ma-ma-ma-da-da-do' and giggling, randomly.  He's trying to get more mobile too, looks like he's crawling backwards?

9. I'm running more these days.  YES.  I love running in the fall.

10. I need to stop having cream in my coffee and having full-cream-amazing-yogurts because, well, it's going to catch up with me.  (I've enjoyed not having to watch what I eat due to being pregnant and then bfeeding Silas...sigh...back to being careful)

11. Went through the  US border crossing as the driver for the first time.  Phew.  Was nerve-wracking.  

12. We'll be hosting some people from India in our home for a week!

13. Not sure why I'm numbering these items.

14. Need to clean the house, but I'm blogging instead.

15. New favourite quote (thanks Jackie for this one).  Parenthood: the days are long but the years are short.  SO true.

Creative Inspiration

I'm getting restless at home.

Really restless.  

So Jason is encouraging me to dream a bit. What would I LIKE my life to look like?  What would I want to do if there were no obstacles?  What dreams do I have?

Tough questions.

Not sure where this soul searching will lead but lately I've been feeling very creatively inspired.  Maybe my future will have something to do with creativity?

So here are my recent creative projects/interests that have me excited about life again:

1. Baking

I've always loved baking, do it all the time.

In fact, I have a sick love of feeding people.

I thought this cupcake craze was silly.  "if EVERYONE's doing it, then why should I?"  (I said that about iphones too).

But I decided to jump on board and made some baby girl cupcakes.  So yummy.  So fun.  Red velvet.  Ooooh, may have to make this a habit now.  Plus, I've been reading a Cupcake blog.   That and watching the Master Chef show has me in the kitchen again.

Recipe from Joy the Baker blog.

Fresh from the oven.

um yeah.  They were delicious.

In hindsight: no gel topping.  They were prettier with just plain white cream cheese frosting.

Delivery was stressful but successful. I know why they're always freaking out on cake reality shows.  

Mmm.  Cupcake project was fun.  Next on the list: Mint Chocolate Chip Cupcakes.  Mouthwatering title.  I know.

2. Card Making

I'm always making cards but sometimes I lack inspiration.

But then Martha rescued me.  Her website is amazing for ideas.  

Here are some of my latest creations since September is THE busiest birthday month for me:

Yarn. On paper.  Who thinks of this?!  It's all Martha.

3.  Sewing (?)

So, I don't have a sewing machine.  But I can sew, with a lot of assistance.  

I have a million cushions that need recovering.  So, in my enthusiasm, I went to the fabric store to buy fabric without bringing any reference colors along.

Big mistake.

Thought: "I can just wing it, no problem, I have a good eye."

Ummm, nope.

Since you can't get small swatches of fabric for free these days (arg) I ended up buying three kinds of fabric, NONE of which match the rooms I want them in.

Dummy.

Not sure what to do now.  I LOVE this one fabric and I want it on some cushions in our bedroom but the wall colour is a lighter green.  What to do.... Buy new fabric?  Or re-paint room?

Here's the fabric:

4. Dream Photography Project

Here's the idea:  

a. get good at photography

b. since I think Silas is THE cutest kid, and needs to start his modeling career, he will be the subject

c. I like making cards, especially ones with funny sayings

d. all together = greeting card line named _____________ (insert snappy title).

Here's a prototype (although, take into account point a above)

says "it's ok to cry."  would be a sympathy card? 

Fun projects.  See where this all leads me...

p.s. Just cause he's cute, here's two recent Silas pictures

Warning, graphic picture ahead (many Cheerios lost their lives in this incident.  Graphic images of gore and victimization ahead):

I swear, I didn't colour coordinate him with his soother (okay, well, maybe subconsciously):

Silas at 7 months

A bit about what Silas has been up to at 7 months...
1. Making friends

Lucas and Silas at Ambleside Park

His monkey (Silas loves eating his face or tail, and squeals with delight every time his monkey is close by!)

His good friend Lorena who is trying to teach Silas to roll and how to produce teeth, but to no avail!  This was during his latest camping expedition to Cultus Lake!

2. Eating and Drinking

Cereal and peas, carrots and squash, baby crackers and applesauce.  Silas' favourites so far seem to be avocado and banana together.  He is SUPER good at making a SUPER mess for mommy to clean up!

He also enjoys eating paper.  (Btw, doesn't his hair look red in this photo?)

He hasn't quite figured out how to drink water- although he enjoys holding his cup and chewing on it!

3. Swimming

Loves his bath, splashing etc.  Although, it has to be SUPER warm.  Can't convince him to go in any lakes as of yet, or in any spray parks.  

But loves his backyard pool.  (his hair is curly in this picture!)

Wrinkly toes from being in his kiddie pool too long!

4. Enforced Tummy Time

Silas is STILL not rolling, despite repeated encouragements and persistently enforced tummy time.  He gets fed up wanting to reach things, smashes his face into the carpet, and cries.  Oh boy.  Here he is doing 'tummy time' on Grandpa!

Tummy time again mom?!

5. Other Activities and Accomplishments

• drooling
• says 'da-da-da-da' pretty well
• re-inserts his own soother!  (sometimes upside down)
• holds books and turns their pages
• naps, almost like clockwork, after every 2 hours of being awake
• sits up like a pro-star
• gets bored easily
• poops like an overachiever
• is a little bit cuddly and a bit stranger shy after he wakes up
• moves all over his crib while sleeping
• has found his boy body parts!

6. Things he finds hysterically funny

• any loud and sudden sounds including (but not limited to): sneezes, coughs, beeps, boops, 'baaahs' and any other sounds his mom can come up with
• eating the couch cushions
• stopping mid feed to put his fingers in his mommy's mouth or up her nose
• peak-a-boo, in general
• being thrown around, put upside down, or any roller-coaster-like motion
• riding on his dad's shoulders
• grabbing faces or sucking on them
• wacking tables with his hands
• kicking, flailing, fidgeting or smacking his mommy 

7. What causes him to have dramatic crying fits 

• whenever anything he wants is taken away
• when he can't have his spoon to hold and chew on at the end of feeding
• when he's bored
• when he's awakened prematurely, or moved while sleeping
• when he's overtired (that is, after his 'hyper-everything-is-hilarious-over-tired' phase)
• when I leave the room
• the vacuum cleaner
• when he is frustrated with tummy time

7 months kiddo.  Each day is getting better!