my active little boy, insomnia, and other pregnancy facts

33 weeks already and insomnia has taken over. I woke up last night at 2:30, then 5:30, then was awake for good at about 6:00. Tossing, turning, peeing, ahhh! So frustrating! It doesn't even really make sense to me because I feel tired but I just can't get comfortable. And my little boy moved a little jungle gym into my belly, or at least that's how it feels. Now, don't get me wrong, I am proud of his little break dancing moves and every time he moves I feel a sense of reassurance...but at the same time.....I feel like spanking (what I think is his little bum poking into my ribs) and say, "SIT STILL!" But I guess this is what I should expect for having a little boy.

I started reading this book about raising boys called "wild things," and from what I've read and seen in little boys, I'm in for a ride! The authors of this book talk about how curious and active little boys are wired to be...oh man. I wonder why we bought a new house? I'm sure the little guy will destroy it before he's 5. Makes me think I should already change the home to fit a little boy's energy...turn the den into an empty room with rubber walls, install a fireman's pole from the top floor to the bottom. Hmm.

I can't believe in some ways that I could have this little boy any day! I feel not yet prepared- but then over prepared at the same time. I made a ridiculous amount of applesauce the other day (?) clearly unnecessary, but then I still lack a number of things from the nursery, don't have my hospital bag packed, haven't bought Christmas presents...ahhh! Will I be ready? I guess I will have to be in one way or another!

What else to report in pregnancy? I'm itchy, suddenly ravenous at random times, feel like I'm not sure if I'm going to pee my pants most of the time (especially while in superstore- I hate that place, it's far too big), and I'm wondering how it's possible that I have to wait TWO MORE MONTHS for this pregnancy to be done with. Sigh.

30 weeks

So. Got my H1N1 vaccine. hmph. I hate decisions and I hate difficult decisions even more. J and I hummed and hawed and prayed and researched and decided to go ahead. Now 2 days afterwards my legs feel achy....am I just becoming a paranoid mommy? Oh man, I guess it's the beginning of difficult decisions!

Otherwise- I've officially reached the "I can't see my feet" phase. I love the kicking and moving and dancing and re-decorating that goes on in my belly though. Baby gets inches out with his kicks and it looks soo weird and feels even more bizarre.

I'm getting on a plane next week. Ugh. I hate flying and hate it even MORE in pregnancy. Something about stale air, not being able to move, bumpy turbulence and nausea all rolled into one. Now I'm contemplating- should I wear a mask? Would people think I'M the sickie or just that I'm paranoid?

I'm nostalgic in a way to think that pregnancy only lasts a few more months but mainly just getting excited about meeting this little boy. Curly hair or straight? Dark or blond? Blue eyes or brown? Left handed or right? So many questions and anxieties until I actually count his fingers and toes.