Saturday, October 22, 2011

Young: a 'poem'

I'm certainly not a poet.  Nor do I have all the answers.  But I had another one of 'those days' as a bedside nurse that has to be written about in some way.  The things we witness, well, let's just say, help to put things in perspective. So here it is, a wordy,muddled mix of my thoughts on the meaning of life (or something like that):

She was too young
And another life slips through my fingers
I am but a bystander
Helpless as the rest
Wordless, for what can abate this climax of suffering?
This corner of humanity
Face to face with our enemy:
Awaiting in the shadows
Snatching, stealing, devouring
tearing down what took a lifetime to build
Accompanied by pain, an ocean of sorrow
Who can watch and not cringe?
Who can stare at this hollow shell and not long to look away?
Soon her days will be forgotten, dust in the wind
Her pronouncement echoes against the walls
Is it for me too?
For us all?
How can this be?

Oh Hope
We need you

He is so young
This life in my arms
I am his mother
Wordless, for what can describe this rosy cheeked and bright eyed wonder?
Face to face with love and
Like dawn triumphing over the darkest night
Sweeping over, around, and through every misery
My moments of earlier despair- forgotten, vague
Now I am accompanied by laughter, joy and a heart that is filled to overflowing
Who can watch him, this little boy, and not marvel?
Who can stare at his sweet self and not long to leap and smile?
His days before him, a future
A whole life

O Hope,
You are here.
Death where is your victory?
Death where is your sting?

[And that, is the gospel, the message of Christianity]:
Suffering it shall cease, sorrow it shall end
Triumphed over by life everlasting

Which is ours alone in the One
The One who died so we can live
The One who triumphed over sin and death with His very life
And He won
His name is Hope
His name is Jesus
The light of His love has engulfed death and despair, once and
for all
He is waiting
Who will choose Him?

O why,
Would anyone choose death instead of life?
Sorrow instead of hope?
Darkness instead of the light of dawn?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Sigh. Renovations.  Before starting out on some home renovations I was excited, thrilled, curious, etc.  Now?  I realize why people say renovations and then groan afterwards.  They take longer than you think, they cost more than you budgeted, and there are inevitable snags along the way.  Take for example, our office/guest room.  It was one of the few rooms in our townhouse that we didn't paint when we first moved in.  It had two colours (why?) and random pieces of wood attached to walls, holes, dents etc.  We decided to repaint a lighter colour and get a bit more organized.  "More organized" meant a trip to Ikea where we purchased their lovely floating shelves.  
Note to self: never. buy. them. again.  
I have  a love/hate relationship with Ikea.  Often things look so functional but they take more work to install than they can be worth sometimes.  SO we painted the room, it was all coming together, ALL we had yet to do was put items on this newly screwed in shelf.  On went the files and off went the shelf.  The whole thing literally ripped out of the wall and just about smoked me in the head.  It has now taken 4 + weeks to fix the wall.  The holes were huge and Jason had to:
 cut out the drywall, 
put in 2X4 in between the studs, 
buy new drywall anchors, 
put a new piece of drywall on, 
putty it, 
tape it, 
re-paint it, 
and THEN put up the shelf for attempt #2.  
These ikea shelves are stupid because 1. their screw placements don't match typical stud spots in a wall and 2. they hold very little weight.  GRRR.  So much for organizing the office better since these shelves can't hold much weight, tell me, WHAT in an office doesn't weigh much?

Finally my office/guest space has come together although there are a few things I'd still like to do:  I'd love to figure out a curtain to go over our closet-door-less closet and perhaps find a nice area rug?  We also have to fix our heavy bookshelf to the wall so that if Silas climbs it, he doesn't pull it on himself.  Sigh.  Renos are  NEVER done.  There's always more you want to do!  
our office when we bought our place 2 years ago. ugh.  we liked the built in desk though

prepping for paint

see how dark it was?
new paint, new shelves.  I was aiming for olive green- but the walls turned out mintier than I hoped for.  Oh well, it sure brightens it up though! 

new frames from thrift store (finally framed our university certificates!), re-covered cushions and garage sale finds, newly covered bulletin boards on the wall
kinda dark- but this is my 'craft' center.  I found jars on the side of the road which became my craft storage 
help!  What colour of cloth should I use for the closet cutrain??

Our kitchen is a similar story.  We started with tiling the backsplash which was a very involved process. We had to rip off the oak board that was there, prep the wall, put the tile up, put in the grout, clean it off, and then apply the silicone.  Phew.  We also changed out our sink faucet (cause it was terrible) and because there's always more you could to to make it nicer, we changed out our hood fan to be stainless steel to match the rest of our appliances.  NOW I'd love to make it more functional- you know, organize my endlessly chaotic tupperware cupboard etc.  There's lots we could do to make it our dream kitchen like change countertops and cabinets- BUT lets be honest, we won't fit in this townhouse much longer so we just want to make it nice enough to re-sell in a year or so.
Our kitchen when we bought 2 years ago.  Notice the green, the mis-matched white hood fan...the oak 'backsplash' or whatever that is
prior to demolition (we had painted the walls chocolate brown)

taking apart the old 'backsplash'
we had to apply an enhancer to the tiles.  The one on the left is how it looks with the enhancer and on the wall

prior to silicone
completed!  New hood fan, tiles up, etc  Cause I'm anal- need a new stainless steel coffee maker- the one I have is white and well, it's older than me =)

new sink faucet

chalkboard paint =) (ignore stuff on top of my fridge, gotta figure out where to put the clutter)

What's on our to-do list next?  Bathroom vanities- which will mean re-flooring, re-painting, the whole show... making nice curtains, changing out light fixtures for nicer ones, and you know, having a baby sometime in there.  =)  Nothing like nesting to speed up home projects!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Pumpkin Patch Time!

Another fall.  Another trip to the pumpkin patch.  A recap in pictures:

"heavy" he was saying

we could have left after seeing this house- he loved it!

"tractor, tractor, tractor!!!"

 35 weeks
favourite task: trying to clean off all the dirty pumpkins (hmmm, he may be a bit of a clean-freak)

still cleaning (so many more to go!) Not quite what I thought he'd get out of the experience, but glad he had a good time!

so cute!

the usual- me trying to direct him somewhere other than where he is going...

 attempt #562 to get a family photo.  Oh well, it's the best we could do!
another tractor/wagon ride

tired out =)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Our Anniversary Trip

Jason and I finally got a chance to get away, 'just the two of us' since Silas was born. We headed to Victoria for the weekend while Papa and Nana took care of Silas. Hard to believe it's been almost 2 years since we've had the chance to get away and be alone together.  It was a wonderful time and a bit difficult too as you will see below:

-we went out for a lovely dessert our first night and took our time enjoying every last bite of the dessert.  So much more relaxing than with Silas with us at a restaurant!
-had a lovely brunch at a place called the Village.  Mmm.  Healthy, hearty, amazing.
-walked around the city at night and shopped during the day!  Couldn't help but look for clothing for Silas...
-had a great time at a wedding of friends of ours- was a beautiful ceremony and a super fun reception.  Ate. A. Lot.  Stayed up late, danced (although not too hard, I was afraid my water would break or something)
-had another wonderful brunch- this time with friends of ours Justin and Julie at a place called Mo:Le.
-walked around an historic site: Fort Rodd Hill and hung out with friends outside in the beautiful fall weather.  Sunny, cool air.  Love the fall when it's like this!
-reading for hours with Jason on the ferry and before bed.  Was nice to just unwind that way.
-spending time strolling, chatting, holding hands, reconnecting, and relaxing together.  It had been way too long!  Was a wonderful way to spend our 6th wedding anniversary!
-seeing Silas' smiling face as he ran to greet us after the weekend was over!

-the first night my thyroid decided to make a wonderful reappearance...I didn't have any sleeping pills left and ended up being awake the WHOLE NIGHT.  It was frustrating, disappointing, and a little bit emotional.  I was not ready to be facing this giant again.  Thankful to have Jason's constant support through it but I was very bummed this had to happen on our first time away together.
-that meant, I was super tired all saturday and even more so on Sunday when I didn't quite get the catch up sleep I'd hoped for.
-which meant, I had to go to a clinic on saturday and waste some of our time 'away' trying to get more sleeping pills.  Thankfullly the wait was super short and I had no problems getting a prescription!
-the weekend was too short!!!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:
on the ferry

At Fort Rodd Hill, 34 weeks!

 Mandatory belly shots

At  the wedding ceremony

 In the 'Fantan alley' (the narrowest road in North America?)
At Fort Rodd Hill (sporting my new scarf)

 More belly shots

Thursday, October 6, 2011

34 Weeks and Dying to Know...

I'm not sure why exactly Jason and I decided not to find out the baby's gender this time around.  We're not really known for quick and decisive decision making, but for some reason we were almost instantly in agreement over keeping it a surprise.  I do, however, often question this decision.  It would kind of be nice to prepare.  It would kind of be nice to only have to choose one set of names.  And, I am the most impatient person when it comes to surprises and am just DYING to find out who this little one is who crowds my bladder and pokes me awake at 3:30 in the morning. 

Everyone asks me if I have a 'feeling' either way...what does that mean?  I have no idea.  Is this pregnancy different?  Sure! ( I'm ready to be done this pregnancy waaaay sooner than last time).  Am I carrying the same?  (Of course, if you mean, I again feel like a truck).  Strange, this question of 'how do I feel.'  Do people often get premonitions of what gender a baby is?  Hmmmm.  I'm afraid to even guess because I was wrong last time (sorry Silas, but the first outfit I bought you was a dress!) 

Silas often says his sibling's a girl and most passersby or strangers in elevators seem convinced I'm carrying a girl.  But then there's my dad- who is convinced I will never have a girl.  I guess I, too, always pictured myself with boys but I can't help but want to purchase all of the cute accessories that people adorn their little girls with these days.  But the fact that I find these things cute, is this enough to determine the baby must be a girl?

Part of me is not sure what is more intimidating.  Having a little girl would just be so foreign to my current reality, but then having another boy sounds so exhausting!  Silas is busy, busy, busy these days climbing everything, throwing himself off raised surfaces, trying to wrestle with me and tossing balls all over the house...multiplied by 2 that sounds a little scary. 

I do however think it's really incredible, this not knowing, just because it will be such a fun surprise.  My midwife says they won't even announce the gender when the baby's born but will put a blanket over the telling parts and let Jason and I pull back the blanket back and 'reveal' this babe's gender.  How fun is that?  I think it's also fun that no one else knows!  We get to make the phone call and say, "Guess what, it's a......."   eeeee. I'm excited.

Can't wait to meet you, little one, I'm so excited to hold you in my arms and kiss your darling face!  p.s. can you please stop kicking my ribs in the middle of the night?  It actually really, really hurts. Thanks.
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