34 Weeks and Dying to Know...

IS IT A BOY OR GIRL?

I'm not sure why exactly Jason and I decided not to find out the baby's gender this time around.  We're not really known for quick and decisive decision making, but for some reason we were almost instantly in agreement over keeping it a surprise.  I do, however, often question this decision.  It would kind of be nice to prepare.  It would kind of be nice to only have to choose one set of names.  And, I am the most impatient person when it comes to surprises and am just DYING to find out who this little one is who crowds my bladder and pokes me awake at 3:30 in the morning. 

Everyone asks me if I have a 'feeling' either way...what does that mean?  I have no idea.  Is this pregnancy different?  Sure! ( I'm ready to be done this pregnancy waaaay sooner than last time).  Am I carrying the same?  (Of course, if you mean, I again feel like a truck).  Strange, this question of 'how do I feel.'  Do people often get premonitions of what gender a baby is?  Hmmmm.  I'm afraid to even guess because I was wrong last time (sorry Silas, but the first outfit I bought you was a dress!) 

Silas often says his sibling's a girl and most passersby or strangers in elevators seem convinced I'm carrying a girl.  But then there's my dad- who is convinced I will never have a girl.  I guess I, too, always pictured myself with boys but I can't help but want to purchase all of the cute accessories that people adorn their little girls with these days.  But the fact that I find these things cute, is this enough to determine the baby must be a girl?

Part of me is not sure what is more intimidating.  Having a little girl would just be so foreign to my current reality, but then having another boy sounds so exhausting!  Silas is busy, busy, busy these days climbing everything, throwing himself off raised surfaces, trying to wrestle with me and tossing balls all over the house...multiplied by 2 that sounds a little scary. 

I do however think it's really incredible, this not knowing, just because it will be such a fun surprise.  My midwife says they won't even announce the gender when the baby's born but will put a blanket over the telling parts and let Jason and I pull back the blanket back and 'reveal' this babe's gender.  How fun is that?  I think it's also fun that no one else knows!  We get to make the phone call and say, "Guess what, it's a......."   eeeee. I'm excited.

Can't wait to meet you, little one, I'm so excited to hold you in my arms and kiss your darling face!  p.s. can you please stop kicking my ribs in the middle of the night?  It actually really, really hurts. Thanks.