Jason and I have come to realize that so much of parenthood appears to be weighing risks. It's frightening living in this day and age. We have access to so much information and media on the internet. With that, comes the issue of weeding through all this 'information' and making informed decisions about our children's' health and well-being. Who do you trust to give you accurate information? Websites? Peoples' experiences? Dr's? No one is purely objective and no one can be trusted (is what we learn in this generation).
Take the issue of vaccinations (a big one). Do you, or do you not vaccinate? What once was a clear decision (in an era where every second child got debilitating effects of polio) is now complicated. What about autism? What about other terrifying 'reported' neurological effects of vaccinations? For me, having seen the effects of polio on children in rural Africa, it seems to be an obvious decision- the risks of vaccination are clearly outweighed (to me) by the benefits. But then, what if, after giving Silas 3 shots today, he somehow comes down with autism? What would I think then? Who am I to question many parents' real experiences of their children going in for shots one day and developing autism shortly after?
Gah! Not only is making an informed choice difficult, but then feeling confident of that decision is even harder! Hmph. How does any parent live with any decision they make?
Jason and I struggle through over-analysis-paralysis. I feel overwhelmed, most of the time, about trying to make 'the best' decision. I don't want to be under-informed, but often being over-informed causes me more headaches and frustration. Especially because I never feel confident that I DID make 'the best' decision. For example: if I be overprotective and don't let Silas climb trees, or play outside, or run around the neighborhood, then perhaps he will live in fear or not develop as a normal boy should. But then if I let my son do these things and he falls from a tree and becomes paralyzed for life, or is hit by a car, or gets abducted-then did I make the right decision?
Parenthood can be terrifying. Every decision comes down to risk. There's risks to not vaccinating, but also risks to vaccinating (until they do more research and absolutely conclude there is no causal relationship between vaccinations and autism).
My conclusion to these ramblings: How does any parent navigate this world today without God?
I'm working on thankfulness this month and so I am thankful that ultimately, God does see all things and protect us from many awful things. However, when bad things do happen, this doesn't negate the existence of God or disprove that He is good. I believe that God does allow things to happen in our lives for our good. I may not understand in this life. I may not want to accept life's circumstances because of how hard they are, but His ways are above mine. I cannot live in fear, or should not, because God will never change and will always be my sustainer and foundation in and through any circumstance. I'm thankful that in the midst of feeling overwhelmed and over conscious of all the things that could go wrong in parenting, I can still trust that God is good, He is control, and that all that happens in this life will one day be swept over by the glorious life to come.
Side note: I watched this documentary today on vaccinations and it was very informative. Frontline (PBS) in the US does a great job of providing objective, free, documentaries online:
Vaccine Documentary
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