My Favourite Silas'

1. Jolly-jumper-Silas: he can spend almost an hour in there, bouncing, spinning, prancing, swinging - all while spitting up almost continuously and/or drooling.  He usually has this lopsided grin, especially when he sees himself in the mirror while jumping (so cute).
2. Sleepy-just-woken-up-Silas:  I love picking him up after he's just barely woken up.  He arches his back quite far to stretch, is warm and cuddly, smacks his lips, grunts, and barely opens his eyes (so precious).
3. Thumb-and-or-hand-sucking-Silas:  He is constantly working on getting those hands of his or any part of his hands or fingers into his mouth.  He drools all over the place and often ends up with just his thumb hanging in there (so funny).
4. Screechy-until-I-make-myself-cough-Silas: Today we laid him out on a few blankets on the grass while at Stanley Park and he was just screeching away happily.  He's so loud, kicking away, happy as a clam (so entertaining).
5. Sleeping-Silas: He often sleeps with his hands up in the "I surrendor" or "I'm unarmed" position.  His head is to one side, and sometimes his hands are all caught up in his blanket and his soother is smashed into the side of his cheek (so peaceful).
6. Soother-indented-face-Silas: the other day we had left the soother in while he slept in a baby wrap on me and forgot to take it out.  When we finally did, he had this red mark all around his mouth like a clown mouth (so priceless)

Needless to say, this kid has many sides to him, and I am falling in love with them all!

weary traveler

A lot has happened over the last number of weeks but the one thing that always seems to stand out, is whether or not I'm sleeping.  I know, I know, everyone's sick to death about hearing about my woes, and so am I.  No one likes hearing about suffering without the silver lining.  But how does someone, like myself, isolated in this world of sleeplessness, suffer alone?  Aren't we all struggling with something? Am I the only one?  I am realizing one thing for sure about myself: I LIKE looking put together.  In fact, I approach house cleaning in the same way I approach myself.  Anytime someone is coming over I get struck with this fear that I will be 'found out.'  What if they discover that I am secretly a closet slob who puts up the facade of cleanliness?  I sweep, I dust, I straighten drawers, rearrange fridges when I know that guests are coming.  I want to look put together.  I want to look like a young mom who has her hair done, coffee in hand, perfectly kept child and home....but here's the big new: I'M A MESS.  That's the honest truth.  I don't know what's going on with Silas most of the time- I guess.  My home is not orderly.  My hair is not well kept, my make-up is left undone.  I am a mess and I am a desperate believer, crying out to God for help to get through each day.  I am anxious, I cry a lot, and I pray and that this suffering will pass.   So there you have it.  That's my life.  That's how I am dealing with trials. I have a wonderful son, husband, and family, and am well provided for- so I probably shouldn't complain.  But I hope that soon, and VERY soon, I can learn whatever lesson it is God has for me in this season of desperation so that I don't have to walk this road again (or at least, not for awhile)  p.s.  is anyone else in the midst of a suffering?  If so- know that I'm someone you can talk to (cause I'm in it too).  Lord have mercy on us!

Silas at 3 months old!

Another month old and Silas keeps on changing! Here are some more of his 'firsts' and a few little tidbits that we've learned about him over this past month:

He went for his first hike, went to the states for the first time, and is the proud owner of a canadian passport. (I will post his hilarious passport photo pictures soon)

Silas can hold up his head quite well so after a mega-find of a $5 jolly jumper at a kids item swap meet, we put him in. He loves it! Tee hee, and we got our first video of him starting to fall asleep in it (hours and hours of entertainment ahead!) Only problem is that while in the jolly jumper he spits up. A lot.

He has developed, perhaps a not so good habit, of only wanting to nap in the swing or in the moving stroller/car. Hmmm must try and rectify this habit soon!

We are celebrating his discovery of his thumb to suck on. Hopefully now that he has accomplished this milestone, he won't suck on the soother, spit it out, make mom and dad put it back in, etc etc. (Although, maybe when he's 10 I may regret this mini-celebration?)

He is still mr. wiggly and mr. chatty. He loves just lying on his back cooing/screaming with delight as I talk to him, and trying to propel himself around by kicking off of me. Here is a video of him chatting away.

Silas is starting to more often sleep 'through the night' aka from 10:30 to 5:30. Not bad at all!

However, it seems he's a morning person. (arg). He is awake at 8:00 and ready to start the day. He gets a little mad at me when I am lying in bed not playing with him, while he is kicking and screeching beside me, ready to 'get going!'

When he smiles, it's like his whole body smiles with him!

Sometimes he squaks and screeches with delight so loudly that he makes himself cough!

Silas can blow bubbles!

He doesn't mind being held by most anyone, and loves to see what mommy and daddy are up to.

Wow. Hard to believe this little guy, with his sweet little chunky cheeks is the same guy

I gave birth to three months ago! He's changed so much already...and I love him more and more!

Bad mother alert

I've had a few 'incidents' recently that deserve to be mentioned. First one:

Jason and I finally took baby Silas for his first hike! (It's about time, considering his name means 'man of the forest' afterall!). So, as most parents know, it took a bit of finesse, timing, luck, and coordination to get him out the door and make sure he would sleep in the car on the way to the hike (since awake silas + carseat = no fun for parents). We got there (phew) and he had slept the whole way. I whipped out lunch in due time and gave him a little feed in the back of our very functional mini-va* er, I mean cuv (car utility vehicle). We bundled him all up in two sleepers and our great go-go baby wrap slapped onto Jason's chest. (Btw, great investment because J can truly experience what I felt like for 9 months carrying a person on the front of my torso). And presto, as we started walking along our favourite buntzen lake trail whamo- he was asleep! (Point 1 for mommy and daddy).

So we thoroughly enjoyed our almost 3 hour walk around this lake. It felt like a date- with baby sleeping soundly with his little 'bee' hat on and us chatting away. Minding our own business (while pleasantly greeting passersby) we kept debating 'hat on' or 'hat off.' Sometimes it would seem really warm and since Silas was bundled all close up to Daddy it was 17 degrees, he seemed plenty warm enough....so at a few points we took off the hat so his head could get a bit of a breeze since his cheeks look kinda flushed.

Well. We passed a lady on the path who gave us this very disapproving look and said "babies should ALWAYS wear a hat," as she walked past us. Not only did she give us that look, but said that in the most condescending voice EVer. THEN as we kept walking, feeling as though we'd been slapped in the face, she said ANOTHER comment something to the effect of "shame on you."

I have never felt so judged and speechless at the same time. Who? What the? What just happened here? Bad mommy, bad (but even though apparently my child's entire health and well-being was apparently at stake at that moment, I wanted to almost not put the hat back on just to spite her).

Incident #2.

We were back at the car, still reeling and we had put Silas in the trunk, lying on his back so he could kick for awhile and enjoy his little self before we put him back again into the dreaded car seat. A lady walked clear across the parking lot and came over and started cooing and ooing at Silas and touching him. WOAH lady. Am I a bad mom that it kind of freaks me out a bit when perfect strangers touch my son all over? I mean, where have their hands been? Did they use the public pit toilets and there was no soap and so they just used water... ?? Is it bad I want to offer people a mask and hand sanitizer before they enter Silas' zone? I never really had strangers 'rub my belly' although, when people did, it didn't really bother me. But THIS does. Shouldn't people ask? Am I a bad mommy for not wanting people to goo and gaah and touch my perfectly clean and non-contaminated little boy?

Ugh. Parenting. Since when does it open invitation for any and all opinions and since when does that give people liberality to touch and coddle my son? I guess I should lighten up a bit. Maybe I'm a bit cranky from lack of sleep (actually, I KNOW I'm cranky from lack of sleep).

before Incident #2

Before Incident #1

flexibility

This is how my morning yesterday was supposed to go:
silas was asleep so I made some lemon scones (yummy), got a cup of HOT coffee ready, sat down with my Bible....to have some good quiet time:

This is how my morning actually went...

I sat down, ready to eat that first scrumptuous

bite, and to sip my hot coffee- wrote two words

on my journal page...and Silas woke up crying,

screaming in fact. The rest of the morning

I was trying to figure out what was wrong. Fed him,

took him for a long walk in the stroller

to get him to sleep etc.

Ha ha. Parenting is ALL about flexibility.