Proof I'm not Superwoman

I admit it.  I'm not a superwoman.  I know, a HUGE shocker.  Thing is, I often convince myself I am.  I have been reminded that my humanity, my frailty, are friendly reminders that I am not invincible.  Case in point: my thyroid.  So here's the gist of it:  my metabolism is on hyper mode.  What does this feel like?  My heart races sometimes, I get super warm, I have difficulty sleeping, I have overwhelming anxiety and emotions sweep over me from time to time.  The scariest symptom to me: if I go up the stairs too fast or run around too much my legs all of a sudden feel like jell-o [this happens especially when I am carrying a baby, scary].  I get this wave of fatigue that runs over my body and I feel like a limp noodle and have to sit down or else I will fall down.  My body is alarming, yelling at me to go faster, do more because I feel jittery, frantic, spastic, energetic, HYPER.  But my body lies. I need rest.  If I have too much stress, too much activity, it makes my symptoms worse.  [That's funny].  


Rest.


Wow.  For most people this word probably has happy connotations to it.  For me?  It strikes a bit of fear in me.  A bit of reservation and confusion.  Why do I struggle so much with resting?  And I don't mean just putting my feet up and sitting for a minute, I mean truly being at peace.  Resting in spirit, in heart, in mind, in body.  Jason and I have been trying to carve out sabbath time every weekend and this is a real step for me.  I need to learn how to rest or my body will not take the abuse I give it with the breakneck speeds at which I live.  Midday, when both children happen to be sleeping at the same time, I need to REST.  I need to stop my striving, stop my worrying, stop my plotting, planning and thinking and sit beside quiet waters.  On green pastures.  And let God restore my soul.  God has gotten my attention by sidelining me with blood clots, knee injuries, insomnia, and hyperthyroidism but somehow the lesson is still not hammered in deeply enough. [COME ON SHANNON!] 


I am not superwoman. I repeat:  I am NOT superwoman.