Tuesday, May 1, 2012

THYROID.

Scary title.  Sounds like a horror film doesn't it?  Okay, maybe only to me.  

Those of you who have been reading my blog have definitely been on a roller coaster with me as I've written about some pretty low lows of insomnia and other thyroid havoc.  Postpartum with Silas was rough.  Maybe more than rough.  Try: "the hardest time of my life."  Anyways, you might be wondering what has been happening this time.  Has it been as rough?  What's my thyroid doing these days?

Similarly to last time with Silas my thyroid started to be 'attacked' by my immune system starting at about 5 weeks postpartum.  

I guess with a lot of women, their immune system is 'suppressed' in pregnancy as you carry a baby in your womb.  Once pregnancy ends, your immune system rebounds and can cause many women all sorts of problems (lupus, graves disease etc).  For me, my body rebounds with postpartum thyroiditis.  

My body attacks my thyroid and in response, my thyroid unleashes all of it's stored thyroid hormone: hyperthyroidism begins.  The best way I can describe it is that I'm frantic.  I'm jittery, anxious, scurrying, worried, easily over-catastrophizing, more emotional, 'on speed.'  

For those of you who know me well, I already have a tendency to be anxious, a worrier, maybe a bit fast-paced, ambitious etc.  So for me, on speed is, well, crazy.  I get sweaty, I get hyper, I am spring cleaning at 10:30 pm, anxious and alert.  

Sounds not so bad right?  Maybe we all need a little bit of thyroid 'pep' in our step?  Not so much.  The anxiety my thyroid can cause led me to some pretty serious moments of personal crisis.  However, this time around all I can say is that God has bathed me with His grace.  I know this period will pass.  I know that He is faithful.  I know that this is a season.  He is with me.

I went to the specialist last week and turns out my thyroid is now exiting the freaking out stage and entering the slug stage [non medical terminology].  After your thyroid unleashes all its stored hormones, in response to the crazy surplus of thyroid hormone your pituitary (which controls your thyroid) says "woooooah there, slow down" and stops stimulating the thyroid.  [Are you still with me?]  What's the result?  Hypothyroidism.  No kidding.  Now my joints are stiff.  I've had days where I couldn't hardly move I was so achy.  I am tired.  A lot.  I am slothy (is that a word?)  However, compared to me on speed, I prefer this particular swing in my hormones.  I'm starting to get a bit more objectivity about the last 5.5 months and today I realized that the best way to describe me right now, at this moment is "I can see."  Ever gone to get glasses and once you put them on gone, "Aha! there is definition!  People have facial features!  I didn't even realize I couldn't see, until I could."  That's how I feel right now about these past months.  I realize how much of my anxieties over this time has probably been related to my hormones without me even knowing it... hormones are funny that way. They trick you into believing that you are freaking out about little things for legitimate reasons.  

So what does this mean?  My body will swing the other way for awhile (hypothyroidism) and then hopefully go back to normal.  Like last time.  It took 9 months before I was in a 'normal' range last time so it will probably run a similar course.  Will this happen again?  Most likely with any subsequent pregnancy.  How is my sleep?  Well....that's another post.   I can say that being 'prepared' has helped me mentally a lot.  I am still dependent on sleeping pills though and would like to get off of them as soon as possible.   I wake up a lot and have a hard time returning to sleep.  I often wake up too early at like 5 am or 3:30 or 4.  But it's been okay.  God's grace has been sufficient- I can honestly say that.

One perk about hyperthyroidism? I eat a lot but lose weight!  [Although, now I have to be careful cause hypothyroidism causes weight gain. Sigh.  Eating frenzy is over].
One downer?  I have a goiter.  No joke.  Look it up, cause I'm not posting pictures of my own.  Gross.  [Looks especially pronounced if I am thinner...lol]
But I praise God nonetheless- for His grace in this trying season.  Somehow, through the dark and dreary winter, with a busy and difficult toddler and a touchy newborn, with a roller coaster thyroid and a C-section recovery, God has been working in my heart and has provided me with much of Himself.  I have felt so supported by family and friends and my incredible husband.  They are all gifts to me. My bubbly, hilarious son Silas is a gift.  My cuddly, smiley bouncy baby Toby is a gift. This postpartum period has been SO much better than the last even though some of my issues remain the same.  
Glory to God.
Will post about my 10 k race separately...if I ever get around to it...


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing, Shannon. God is good and He is faithful. Love you guys!

    ReplyDelete

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