Day 10

I'm using the month of January to fight against 7 food excesses in my life.  Depriving myself, in order to reflect more deeply on why I have these food excesses to begin with.

So it continues.  No sugar.  No coffee.  The war rages on.  

I reached, unconsciously, for some chocolate bread last night.  Dang.  And all week I've been baking for my son's birthday party.  Let me tell you that watching him 'test' a marshmallow dipped in chocolate and sprinkles...is surprisingly horrifying. [End whine here]

But what is it about this that is so challenging, really?  What is at the heart of my [our] need to consume when we want, what we want, how ever much we want?  There is something insidious that is heart-deep at the centre of our cultural norm to buy, eat, and own, isn't there?  We are caught up in it.  We could blame social media, we could blame advertising, we could blame wealth and prosperity but all of these things capitalize on what is already at the centre of our own hearts:  

Greed.  Control.  Comfort.  Entitlement.  We want instant gratification and quick fixes. When I feel lonely, I want to grab a handful of chocolate chips.  When I feel disappointed, I want the comfort of a hot cup of Starbucks.  When I feel rushed and harried, I want the convenience of snack foods.  I want want want.  And not only do I want, I thanklessly decide that I am entitled to it.  "Well, I worked hard today, so I deserve a _____[insert snack food here].  

But what do I actually need?  What is enough?

Food excess is complicated.  It is multi-layered.  It is a societal issue, it is a community issue, it is an emotional issue, it is complicated.  Over-eating, indulging, feasting, these are all things we expect.  We socialize around food, we have food at every event, it is always at our fingertips.  If we want it, with one simple swipe of the credit card or one quick reach into our pantry, we can have it.  Open fridge door, insert hand, out comes food.  Simple transaction.

Pause.

I cannot even fathom that for many, I repeat, for MOST people in this world, this is a dream and not a reality.  A distant hope.  Food available at one's fingertips for comfort and not just necessity?  Even the fact that we have issues with over-indulgence in the west must seem absolutely atrocious, to those who cannot feed themselves or their families.  If anyone's seen the hunger games movie or read the books, the juxtaposition of extreme poverty next to incredible wealth seems sickening, doesn't it?  But we don't see it with food as often.  Yet if our system and others' were placed side by side we would see the outrageous excess in our world, wouldn't we?  Scarcity, hunger, and need define many food cycles, not over-abundance, over-eating and 'want' which define ours.  

Empty mouths and empty hands next to one whole aisle full of lucky charms, fruit loops and captain crunch?  Something is not right.

I read this account the other day "One afternoon while I was living in Bangladesh, my best friend took me to visit Ramona...I saw the daughter Ramona was carrying on her hip. The girl's hair was almost white.  Her eyes peered lifelessly at me from sunken sockets. The child appeared to be desperately ill.  Nearly two years old, she was not strong enough to walk.  When Ramona stepped into the kitchen to make some tea, I whispered to my friend, 'what's wrong with Ramona's daughter?'  She replied "Ramona and her husband can no longer feed all the children they have, so they have chosen this daughter to die."  -Extending the Table 

[Insert heart-pang and tears]

This isn't as 'skin deep' of an issue as I thought.  When I undertook the challenge of just 'cutting out 7 foods' I was thinking 'this will be easy, no problem it's just a month...'  but what if I need to actually make changes? Real changes.  Beyond this month?

Maybe we all do.  Maybe we need to stop saying "more please" and choose to take less.  Or be more thankful.  Or indulge less.  I don't know.  Guilt isn't a great motivator, is it? Knowing that so many suffer with so little, does it actually change what I do with much?

Applying this is much much harder than talking about it.  We want, because we want, because we want.  And to choose not to satisfy cravings, is a war within ourselves and against cultural norms.

[Will write more as this month continues...]