Disciplining

Phew. What. A. Day.  I realize I haven't written in awhile and this post may be somewhat negative but man.  Parenting is SO hard.  Each day brings new challenges.  Silas does something that throws me and I apparently am not good at coming up with discipline rules on the fly as I've become very inconsistent I think.  Silas has been pushing every button, screaming, throwing himself on the floor, 'fake' throwing things to see me react, saying 'no' back at me.  Who is this child?  Is he really mine?  A better question is, where are Jason's genes in him??  All this to say, after much encouragement at bible study (thanks guys) I think I need to actually sit down and work out what my actions will be.  If I am not pro-active, I am inactive.  I end up being this passive bystander praying every two seconds "Lord help me, give me wisdom, give me patience."  So far, I've done well at staying relatively un-emotional and not getting angry or yelling.  But I feel more like a passive observer.  I need to start increasing discipline and try some time outs and other more clear punishments.  It's so hard though!  It's hard to convince yourself that it will get better when your son is screaming bloody murder in his crib after you've placed him there for time out- only getting more and more vocal as time passes rather than more calm.  How do you teach a fiery, strong willed little boy with raging emotions and tons of energy how to calm himself down?  Obviously, he can't.  Someone tell me that toddler hood will give way to a well behaved young boy?!  I know it doesn't happen 'automatically' it will take work on our part but it's so hard to know what response will bring what outcome in Silas.  Will he feel unloved?  Will he feel like we're too harsh?  And then my biggest fear- what if we are not harsh enough?  What if we are too lenient and he doesn't respect our authority?  Then what.


Prayer.  Book suggestions.  Advice- ALL is welcome here!