Fall News

I couldn't tell anyone for awhile so I actually wrote this post a few months ago and it's been tucked away as a draft since then.  

You guessed it.
That's right.
Uh huh.
This is going to happen.

We will be a family of 5.

As soon as I found out, I was simultaneously full of joy and then scared and in shock.  Even though we had been hoping to get pregnant, I was still in dis-belief.  I took multiple pregnancy tests.  Yup, still two lines.  Te actual weight of reality took time to sink in.  We're really doing this!  Seriously?  Is this happening?  Or wait, it's already done.  We'll need a van!  Oh.  We'll need a van. We definitely need the boys to sleep in the same room.  I have to start finishing things (oxymoron).  That quilt?  I gotta get wicked fast stitching fingers.  I have to talk to the doctor.  Right.  I will need to have injections daily again. Ummm, k.

Breathe.  Stop. Making. Lists.

We are blessed, we are in wonder, we are back in the seat of being vulnerable.  A new life.  Will my patience increase or will I go crazy?  Given my last blog post, I'm not sure. Will my capacity expand to meet the demands or will I be torn into 100 million pieces? What if the child is a girl, will I spoil her?  What if it's a boy, will my house literally fall apart at the seams from the running and jumping?  What if this child has a disability, what if I have a stroke in pregnancy, oh my goodness, did I take my folic acid....?

Vulnerable.  Completely in awe, slightly terrified, and so full of a sense of right-ness that our family is continuing to grow. Five feels right.  (For now).  Five is us.   My heart is still thinking and dreaming of adoption, and that might yet come.  But in the meantime, we will love, we will learn, we will cry, we will accept and we will praise God for all He brings.

"Every good and perfect gift comes down from God in heaven."  James.
Due March.