Slow Down. Stop. Breathe. Enjoy.

Life. Is. Busy.  I enjoy busy, don't get me wrong.  I enjoy having a purpose in my day.  A place to go, people to meet, chores to do, life to accomplish.  I hate being bored and bemoan being bored. But on the other end sometimes it starts to feel like I never actually surface or ever get caught up.  Thing is, I know this is my new reality.  No use trying to make my life like it was.  It's not.  I'm a mom.  I'm a wife.  I have a home to keep, ministry to do, work to show up for, meals to cook, things to sew etc.  I recognize, only superficially, that these days are THE days of my life.  One day all too soon I will look back and this will all be a glorious blur, and I will long for these days of being a mother with small children. However, that seems to be a peripheral thought that only intrudes for a few moments at a time.  Most of the time I feel like I'm running full speed and drowning at the same time.  How can I learn to just enjoy these days, be content with an overflowing 'to do' list that will never end, and to really soak in the moments that will one day be distant memories?  Lord help me enjoy the everyday-ness of the everyday.   Help me slow down, stop, breathe, and enjoy it all as it whirs along.  

Countdown to Baby

Many days that I am home with Silas, I am scratching my head as to what to do with him.  Seems strange but I guess I get bored of taking him to the same parks, playing in the backyard pool, and well, having him follow me around while I try to get SOME things done in the day.  And, I just am out of ideas.  He's such a busy boy and LOVES to be with other kids and so I just don't know what to do to entertain him when I'm on my own.  It just dawned on me the other day that he looks to me as his main playmate.  I'm no longer just his meal provider and diaper changer, but I'm his educator and playmate and he desperately wants my undivided attention.
I've decided to therefore, have a bit more of a routine.  AND, actually take specific time out of my day to not try and get other things done, not do chores around Silas, or feel guilty about not doing them, but just PLAY with him.  Baby 2 is coming soon and really, there will not be much time after baby's arrival for me to just focus one-on-one time with Silas.  Maybe it seems silly, but I just need to make a schedule and write it down that I'm going to take a few hours in the morning to do some chores, but then there will be hours in the afternoon of just simply playing with and focusing on Silas.  Somehow writing it down makes me more likely to do it I think.


Even though in some ways I'm bored at home, the clock is ticking and there's a real sense of baby's imminent arrival.  In light of what I said above, here's a list of my 'to-do-countdown' before baby comes:


4 months until baby arrives
2 weeks of out of town visitors
3 bathrooms to renovate
5 rooms to paint
4 kitchen walls to put up backsplash on (who wants to help?)
1 double stroller to buy
1 toddler bed to set up and get Silas to get used to
1 quilt to finish (oh man, this is taking me forever)
23 shifts left to work
2 weekends away (one without Silas for the first time, one women's retreat)
1 kidswap fall event to plan for my church
8 swimming classes to go to with Silas
1 freezer to stock full of meals and homemade applesauce 
2 zucchini plants to harvest and do something with
1 breastfeeding pillow to recover (any tips on how to do that anyone?)
2 camping trips to take


phew.  the list goes on.  oh yeah, and somehow I need to take care of Silas in there, possibly potty train him (since he seems interested these days), prep for the arduous task that labor is, keep house, pick a name for baby, keep up my relationship with God, and friends, start a bible study, all while huge and pregnant.  And I wonder why I'm so out of shape these days...when do I have time to exercise?


somehow I'll get this to-do-list done.  by God's strength anyways.

23 weeks Pregnant and Veggies

So.  Back from Saskatoon and ready to tackle feeding Silas and well, life.  Although, I can't believe I work so much in the next few weeks.  It's to make up for all the time I had 'off' over these last 7 weeks but I don't feel ready to go to work tomorrow!  Do I even remember my job?  I feel so much more busy with Silas and keeping up the house, and my belly is bigger - with ligament cramps to boot.  How am I going to work for 12 hour stretches?  Ack?

23 weeks have flown by.  I get a wave of fresh panic every time I think of it because I'm not ready for the baby to be born yet!  Or maybe, just not ready for the aftermath of having a new baby.  We haven't even really thought about names yet!  Oh boy.  Better get the move on.

In the meantime we're trying anything and everything to get this little boy of ours to eat something.  Over these last 2 months he's been a terrible terrible eater.  Not that being on the road is helpful for that- we ended up feeding him staples of cheese, grapes, crackers and yogurt.  So much so, that maybe that's why he has almost completely banned regular meals, veggies, protein...  I'm excited about trying all these new 'deceptively delicious' recipes and so far, they've been a hit!  I made chocolate pancakes (with blueberries and spinach), banana pancakes (with yams and carrots), and just tried adding cawliflower and zucchini to a recipe I already have (orange chocolate chip muffins) and all of these things were a hit!  I figure, this will be a new way of cooking and baking for me.  I've pureed a bunch of veggie combos in the freezer in convenient ice cube sizes and I just pop them out and replace their liquid for other wet stuff in recipes.  My goal: no matter what Silas eats, whether snacks or meals, that he'll always be getting something truly nutritious.  That means- veggie and fruit juice (instead of regular juice), mashed avocado and banana concealed in his favourite yogurt, and pureed veggies in whatever I can possibly put them into.

We'll see.  We have to cut back on snacking because otherwise he won't eat meals with us, we have to let HIM feed himself even though he's a messy eater- cause he won't eat if he can't do it himself, and well, we'll see.  It's been very frustrating so I hope that there are better days ahead!

Here's some pictures as of late:

little Elizabeth Thomas- so cute

Silas trying to give her a hug, but being rejected

serious photo of buddies Nate and Silas

Happier!

Visit in the hotel in Saskatoon- Mom-superheroes

my growing pregnant belly!

infamous chocolate, blueberry, spinach pancakes- seriously, they're good!

yam/carrot pancakes

my fav' chocolate orange muffins (with veggies snuck in)

having fun with Uncle Kevin

Driving Back from Colorado

Can't believe how fast 6 weeks went!  The drive back took us another 5/6 days.  I have to say, even though I usually LOVE to stay in hotels and LOVE to eat out....it's got kind of old!  Eating out with a toddler is just not that fun and staying in hotels gets old pretty fast.  Once he's in bed at 8 pm we can't really leave to go do anything so we'd be stuck just watching TV or well, that was it!  I also got this terrible sinus cold which has led to problems hearing in my ears.  Driving through the mountains with increasing sinus pressure was just not that fun!  However, we survived!  

Home was indeed sweet to see again and made even sweeter since our house sitter planted some beautiful flowers in our garden to greet us!  What a nice surprise!  I am amazed however, how much needs to be done around here.  Life is busy with organizing and keeping a home again.  I like the busyness but find myself a little confused what to do with Silas.  He's changed so much!  He's talking all the time, so curious about everything, climbing, wanting to help with stuff.  I need to re-learn how to be with him all day by myself!  Summer weather here is cold and wet right now so we're a bit limited with what we can do outdoors.  I'll have to start getting creative.

Another realization: the baby is coming way sooner than I'll be ready for!  So much to do to fix up the house and get organized before baby #2 arrives.  Are we crazy???  

A big thing on my to-do list is to finish this quilt I've been working on (for ages), paint our bedroom, maybe change out the vanities in our bathrooms (eek) and learn how to get this toddler of mine to eat something healthy!  I'm in the throes of trying out the book "Sneaky Chef" and have been pureeing veggies like a madwoman so I can start hiding them in recipes.  He's such a picky kid and only wants to eat 'loo-la' (his word for yogurt) and 'cooookie' (how did he learn that when we haven't even given him that many??).  Grrr.  

I'll have to outsmart him with some cooking prowess.  I just gave him some 'juice' that had some carrot juice mixed in with OJ and some blueberry/banana/avocado drink.  I felt very sneaky and very relieved to know that he was getting SOME nutritional value more than ketchup and carbs.  

Any tips for getting a toddler to eat, well, anything?  Or anything healthy?

I go back to work this Sunday- feels like awhile for sure!  It'll take a bit to get back to some kind of routine here.  But this summer is still full of camping, weddings, trip to Saskatoon and many other adventures.  We'll see if I ever DO find a routine!  

Here's some pics from our trip back:

you get what you pay for!  No name brand diaper malfunction

 
 Driving through Grand Teton National Park- Wyoming

Silas was sleeping in the car, we jumped out for a photo!

Yellowstone national park.  Hot spring pools!

 Geysers!

 More geysers going off in Yellowstone

 Old faithful!

 Very hot spring- steam blowing off

 What planet are we on???

22 weeks pregnant (and squinting)

A Few More Photos

I basically study, go to class, study, bike to class, cook dinner, play with Silas, swim....so haven't had time to write out some of the ways I've been challenged spiritually by the content of the classes I'm taking.  It will have to wait for some more reflection time (I hope) in the near future...  But until then, a few more photos

seeing some sights with Uncle Kim

playing in his pool floatie

the breakfast stare-down

Silas laughing

20 weeks 

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Life in Fort Collins, Colorado

I have to say, I'm loving our new routine and our new surroundings.  There's something about being in a completely different place that makes you feel excited about living again.  Crazy thunderstorms, discovering incredible milkshakes, exploring new parks with Silas, taking classes and challenging your brain, meeting new people, more time with Jason, eating lunch at home everyday... I feel very blessed right now.  For this opportunity to learn new things about how to study the Bible better and really refining what it is I believe.  I feel blessed to have this time with Jason to strengthen our connection together, discuss things that are important to us, and learn new things together.  I feel blessed to be sleeping well!  I feel blessed to watch my son learn and grow and become more confident and independent from us!  I feel blessed to have the privilege to meet and fellowship with others who have devoted their lives for the cause of Christ.  I just feel blessed.  I want to soak up every moment here and not just look forward to the 'next' thing.  

New buddy Carter (my cousins son) they had so much fun together...decided to lie on their pizza...?

 

our living room.  See the 'non-kid-friendly- furniture (his seat is roped to the bar stool and today he punctured  his forehead on the corner of the coffee table....so we put the table away for time out in the closet)

 
Seeing my grandma again after almost 4 years!

After getting caught in a sudden rainstorm while out for a walk!

19 Weeks