Been awhile since I took some time to just contemplate. I am here, again, at the same place I often find myself. Fears and unbelief turn to insecurities, turn to thoughts and questions such as: "What is my purpose in life?" "Does God have a purpose for me on this earth?" "Why does it seem that so many actually know their purpose, and are living their purpose and it seems I am just carrying on, missing mine?"
I picked up a book, 'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan. Another Christian book, what might it possibly offer me? But a few words that spoke powerfully to my sinful self this morning:
"On the average day we live caught up in ourselves. On the average day, we don't consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life is truly a vapor." p. 39
"How is it possible that we live as though it is about us?" p.43
"Frankly, you need to get over yourself." p. 44
"The point of your life is to point to Him." p.44
Ouch. Point taken. Even my inquiring about 'my purpose', if I'm honest, is not really a noble nor humble question. It's a prideful question- what can I achieve, what can I accomplish FOR God.
I am a mist. A vapor. An insignificant ant who believes this world revolves around her. A small point on a small earth in a large, vast universe. Not to say that what I do doesn't matter, but I am so insignificant in the whole story of history. I make much of me, when I was born simply to make much of Him.
Maybe that's the answer to my questions, or maybe not. Does the what matter about what I do, or does the how? Since, if I were confined to a bed, I could still honor and love God and be loved, what does it really matter what I do in this life?
And so I repent. My purpose, as much as I yearn for it to be 'special' and 'unique' of everyone else on this planet, is essentially the same as everyone's: to give glory to the only One who deserves to be glorified.
I suppose... it comes down to your motivation for asking questions like "What can I do for God?" Those questions may not be wrong, but the why we ask them needs to undergo scrutiny.
ReplyDeleteAnd at the same time, while we may feel insignificant, to God we ARE significant, actions and self doubts not withstanding. Our lives, no matter how we feel about them, matter matter matter to Him. Even if we feel like we're failing. We are the ultimate point of his creation story! And in that there is the significance.
Mmmm, wise words from you today, lovely. Thanks for sharing!