Potty Training {take 3, or is 4..?}

Silas is turning 3 in a few weeks.  After roaring through his 1's and commanding the world through his 2's I couldn't be more grateful to be on the doorstep of 3.

That is, except for the fact that we arrive at the door standing in a puddle of pee and with a plate full of stale food.

He has gained significant independence with a lot of things including riding his strider bike down hills and over jumps with ease, perfecting cartwheels and putting his own boots on.  In fact, he can say his alphabet, recognize all the letters, and count to 20.  He can recognize his name, says bible verses (to songs) and is determined to do many things on his own.  He says words like "particularly" and says prayers with heart-touching words like "thank you God for our family..."

But he does not want to potty train.  He does not want to eat.  He's determined to have the last word on these subjects and heaven help me, I'm not sure I know how to win these epic 'battles.'

I've tried to be more consistent and firm, supportive and encouraging.  I've even been doing some real work on my own control, anger and rage issues that apparently surface when Silas' whining and brother-pestering push me too far.

But this potty training?  This refusal to eat one last bite of carrot, or 2 last bites of dinner to the point of sitting at the table for 1.5 hours?  Well, there's just little left of me to figure out what to do.

We knew it was time to give potty training a new look and a new attempt because we know that he is more than capable.  Yesterday, our first day at it again (after a few months' rest) he successfully went on the potty all but 1 time [while he was sitting at the dinner table refusing to eat]!  He can tell me he has to go, take down his clothing, and do everything including washing his own hands at the end.  Then today?  Back to "I don't want to, I want to be a baby" and 5 pee puddles later...

Most of his friends and cousins are older.  How in the world do I motivate him?

I am trying not to ask him at all and leave it completely up to him- giving him full independence.  I am trying to not make a big deal about the accidents and let him lead the way. I know he is more than capable- but him saying he doesn't want to because he wants to be a baby?  Well, how can you force a child to grow up, or to even want to?  I dangle words like 'school' and 'big boy' in front of him, but it's no bait for his stubborn refusal.  I encourage and cajole, I applaud and cheer, but internally I am at my wits end.

Oh, and his refusal to eat?  What's with that? We've had ups and downs with this so I know that these things can be a phase, but it's particularly bad right now.  I have heard it said not to make it a battle, but he's sitting there crying at the table because "I'm soooo hungry" but refuses to eat.  I even give him food I know he loves- like bread and he refuses.

Heavens.  This boy.  I mean, will every single stage of his life leave me banging my head against the wall?  

And then there's Toby who went from sweet, dimple cheeked, innocent mr. blue eyes to mr. strong-willed flailer and feet stomper.

{Somehow that still looks 'cute' in comparison with potty training a 3 year old}

On a positive note, I'm eating chocolate right now.