Potty
With the advice of dear experienced parents, some very difficult days, and some unorthodox tactics, Silas is a free-wheeling, fully potty trained, 3 year old. Watch out world! [I never thought this would happen]. We've learned a lot about Silas through this potty training process.
1. He has a strong will. Sometimes you can entice him to obedience through tricks and treats, but sometimes discipline is in order. This time around, discipline was in order. We knew that he could go to the bathroom himself but he was just choosing not to. How did we know? Our first day of potty training he 100% did the potty himself. The next day? Back to "I don't want to, I want to be a baby." We'd ask him if he had to go and he'd say no, only to go 2 seconds later.
2. Rewards don't always work for him, neither do long term consequences. The candies were a nice treat for his independence, but they weren't enough. He needed us to have some backbone and act like his parents.
3. It gets a lot harder before it gets better. For some things we just have to go through the fire with him, slog through some tough tough behavioral days, stick to our guns, and just ride him out. Consistency and firmness are key.
4. It has to be his idea. We still ask him all the time "do you need to go potty" and he will say "no," then a few seconds later he'll say "I have to go potty!!" [No kidding!]
5. As much as possible we have to let him figure certain things out on his own. Ie: pulling up his pants. This can be a struggle for him if he's tired or otherwise lazy. He'll want us to help and whine and cry and say he can't. [When he can.] Sometimes we just have to encourage him and let him go through the struggle.
p.s. we had a lot of rough days, long-winded prayers, and a few cries and clenched teeth through this process. It was not easy. But now, he does the WHOLE THING himself from start to finish. Yesssss!
Food.
At the same time that we had to be extra firm, extra determined, and had to 'break his will' with potty training, with food- we had to take the complete opposite stance.
We were having full on 2 hour battles at the dinner table every night. He would enter the meal having seemed to already determined that he was not going to eat. He wouldn't even try the food. The whole meal he'd say he's hungry but not eat. He would say "I don't want to." What was going on?! Another battle of control and wills.
This time, we decided we didn't want to make food a battle like we had. We think it's more important he learns certain manners at the table- to sit properly, to converse politely, and not to get down until we're all ready to get down. If he doesn't want to eat? Fine! He doesn't have to finish what's on his plate.
But. Then he can't eat anything else until the next meal. This kid loves snacks so he just won't get any. If he says he's hungry a few hours after his non-eaten meal, then we give him his meal back and he has to finish it before having snacks.
Can't believe it, but it's worked phenomenally.
This way I know that he's getting the nutrients he needs (cause I'm controlling his meals) and he knows he has a choice and that his choice determines the consequences. I also try to be really conscious of the amount I put on his plate to begin with.
This has seemed to work wonders with him- removing some of that pressure. Meals are much much better for all of us now.
Not sure how this will work when going to other peoples' houses for dinner. We never want to teach him impoliteness of not even trying someone's food, but miraculously, with this new tactic he's started eating again and eating well.
Figures.
Phew. Seems like whatever tornado season we were in with him has settled down. Praise. The. Lord.
Anyone else in the middle of a 'tornado-behavior' season?
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