A Month Without Spending

No. Cards. No.  Back off.

Ever say you're going to do something, and don't do it?  Well, I'm the master at it.  I can talk passionately about how you should all become vegans, take out sugar in your life, and care for the orphan but what am I really doing to change anything in my own life?

How do you make sustainable life changes then?  The weight of my wealth, of my position in the west has been grinding me down into the floor.  I know I live in excess, I want to be more generous, I want to make a change in my spending and giving habits, I want to live more simply, but I am on this wheel and darn it I can't get off.

Few blog posts ago I said 'small steps.'  Well, I've decided on one.  Enter:  "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker.  Hilarious, challenging, eye-opening.  In the spirit of her book on cutting out excess in her life, I'm going to embark on a legalistic month of cutting back.  I want to simplify,  I want to come to terms with the reality of how comfortable I am, how completely dripping with wealth in Canada, so that I can be guilty.  Ok, not guilty, but motivated, broken, and moved to make bigger changes in my life.

Sounds noble right?  That's not the point.  I need accountability and somehow sweating over the words I'm going to write makes my next step more legitimate.

So what's my baby step?  I'm choosing to not spend any money for a month other than on our regular bills, food, gas, and life-saving medications.   I'm hoping it will change the way I think and act towards things.

Sounds ridiculously simple to you, maybe weird?  Actually, even typing this 'plan' out has me hyperventilating.  Can you hear me over the keys? No spending, at all?  Gulp?  Is that even possible?  I've been warring against my spending for awhile and have always believed that I'm not an excessive spender. Our bank account tells another story.  

I'm also lazy, impatient, and demanding.  I want what I want, now.  I don't want to wait, I don't want to research, I just want to buy and buy now.  Somehow it all adds up.  A gift there, a hair product here, some new clothes here, a coffee (which I said I wouldn't buy but have somehow justified a few along the way), 20 lbs of blueberries for jam etc etc. There is no end, folks.  There will always be something else I want.

And that's not even talking big expenses.  Our vacuum broke.  Our deep freeze is currently thawing as we speak because it is on the fritz.  And the list continues...my hair needs to be cut, like now, before I just look like walking bangs or 'Cousin It.' Stuff requires stuff requires stuff.  Or so I think.

But what if I could start thinking differently. What if we chose to have less, to give more.  

What if we didn't buy a new camera, even though ours broke in Hawaii and we officially can't take pictures, at all?  What if we lived in the moments instead of behind a lens taking pictures of 'the' moments?  What if I just didn't buy another deep freeze but ate the food buried in there and simplified?  Who says I have to replace it other than my lifestyle? We could just not store away extra food. What if I learned how to cut my own bangs?  What if I made gifts, or went back to making hand-made cards, or took more time (the currency of our day) to plan or wait for things instead of just buying as needed?

That's the plan.
Here's the secret: I'm writing this a few days behind when I actually started to keep me moving forward. Come along for the ride or maybe dream up a way to simplify your own life. 

Dear Jesus my trajectory needs to be changed.  If I don't take steps I will not move and this heart and lifestyle needs to move.

July 19-August 19.
Here goes.