Day 3

I think a big reason I have this drive to consume, accomplish, achieve, comes from something within that is much more sinister and it came out from it's hiding place plain as day.

I was sitting and talking with Silas, frustrated again for the 100th time having to tell him STOP TAKING TOBY'S TOYS!  

Then I said something emphatically and with great passion (a true teaching moment here right?)  And then I found myself saying it again.  By the third time, I wasn't sure if it was him I was talking to or to my own heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks:

"Silas, you will never be happy if you always want what everyone else has."

"Silas, you will NEVER be happy if you ALWAYS want what everyone else has."

Oh.

That so often exactly explains my own heart of discontent.  I'm frustrated, I'm antsy, I'm agitated when others achieve or buy or own or have something I want.  Not even because I need it for myself, but because she has it or they have it.

Don't you love it when you tell your kids something that you model poorly?  Yuck.